Why I HATE Tactile People!

With a certain level of affection where friends and family are concerned comes tactility in fact it is expected. But I am so used to keeping my own company and living with people who keep their hands to themselves that when I’m in contact with a stranger prone to tactile tendencies, I find them offensive. I automatically draw away from their touch and in no uncertain terms tell them never to do it again!
Someone at work reared this up by caressing my arm from shoulder to wrist and I couldn’t believe his audacity! I told him off and asked never to try it again. It reminded me of a decision I made during my second year of University. The decision never to shake hands with every Tom, Dick and Harry that crossed my path because that’s how it all begins, with shaking hands! Back then; it was for purely selfish reasons – I never wanted to have to wash my hands before eating, it was such a tedious process. Oddly enough, I found more and more reasons to re-enforce the decision.
Boys shake hands more than girls do. You will not find two girls shaking hands unless it is for business purposes but with boys, it is the order of the day. The habit makes you touch so many grossly sweaty palms you can’t help being disgusted and wary of the owners whenever you cross paths.
Then there is those who shake hands for strictly nefarious reasons. They want to hold onto your hand longer than necessary and either feel you up in the process or actually caress your palm. I know someone in my circles who does this to me all the time that I had to talk about it with my cousins. It is inappropriate behaviour for someone of his age and my sensibilities.
When I made the decision not to at University, those who weren’t my friends were more outraged than my actual friends. Friends of mine found it wise because boys just ‘shake’ and go while others called it bad manners and poor social behaviour. I found it so amusing when I became notorious for it. Before someone would proffer their hand to say hello to me, the people in my company would tell them straight off the bat I didn’t shake hands.
Fun-knee enough; once you shake hands with boys, laugh and chat with them, it makes them think they have the right to take other liberties with you. For example said boy at work. If I hadn’t told him off who knows what he would have caressed the next time under the guise of saying ‘hello’, a boob or a butt cheek perhaps? This is why I am going to practice the no-shaking-hands habit once again. No one will dare to take a mile where only an inch is given!
I’ve come to learn that if you don’t respect yourself and expect it from others, no one will respect you. Every inch of my body is a temple to be worshipped on not an object to be felt up by every Tom, Dick and Harry whenever the mood strikes!

A Joyful Day!

Little old me so tired and frazzled!

I had quite the eventful weekend with one of my oldest best friends that took more hard work and planning than it should have.
It took me by surprise when she suggested the do last year. It was quite unexpected. Few people barely remember how good friends you were when kids nor appreciate but not her. From last year’s tentative suggestion and agreement to the actual weekend, it took quite a lot of planning cause of scheduling conflicts on both sides and my health.
At a point, I feared we might never get to but we both had to make a bit of an effort so much so that when I felt 100% better, I asked her for an exact date and time. I felt that if I didn't see her as soon as I could, I might never do.
Everything fell into place and it finally happened. We’ve known each other for give or take twenty years, were best friends in Primary school and would meet randomly at University and chat for a little bit given the time constraints and different studies.
Seeing her after all the years and spending the entire afternoon in her company was such a pleasure. She is so wise and I love the young woman she has become. And you know you are friends when you share career advice and experiences. Most people we call “friends'” never want to share experiences and how they got to where they are but not true friends. True friends have your back and tell it as they see it – which she did. LOL.
We both noted and appreciated how we never out grew each other and the friendship because it happens to so many childhood friends. When adulthood and life hit, the bonds of friendships break and all that's left are memories. With us; the years literary fell away as we found our way to the girls we used to be except as grown ups with mature conversations.
I have such a small number of friends and having one of them be someone who knew me when I was little and remains in my life is not only a blessing but a gift.

An April Retrospective.

The month of April brought a lot of insights and more decision making than I’ve ever done in my life. I’m a pretty decisive person but when it comes to matters of the heart, there is always that ‘maybe it will get better’ and before you know it; you are right back where you started.
It was the first weekend of April when I made this heartfelt decision to let go of someone I REALLY care about and will probably ‘like’ for the rest of my life. This is something I never thought I would do but I did because  it was time and felt right.
During then, I felt neither remorse nor sadness just a sense of finality. No going back, no digging it up, no nothing. Dead and buried. I don’t know if you all notice but once a decision is made from the heart, there is no going back unless you are a fickle person which I am not.
I liked and still do like him but he isn’t for me. I am quite laid back and easy to please but even people with my disposition reach their limit. Some people place too much importance on their time and person that a times it makes you question whether you aren’t as important or as busy and where you fit in (this is why I have few contacts in my phone) cause it is always about them.
Looking back on it now; I still stand by my decision and have no ill feelings at all not even a sense of loss. We’ve known each other for years so much so that this will never take away the bond of friendship just my heart. Now that my heart is no longer taken, it is time to go about the business of finding man candy!! I gave out my number once last year, this time I should at least top that with 2 or maybe 3. God willing.

The April Promise.

It took me awhile to get to this but now that I know for certain it is true, I can finally let it be known that April did deliver on its promise. I am volunteer at an organisation for my people (people with disabilities) and to be honest; I do like it over there. It is so quiet and serene on the days when it is not busy -my kind of environment.
Getting to this point took so many months. Months were I was afraid to tell the most important people in my life for fear of jinxing it and getting them excited over nothing in case it didn’t work out. When it finally happened and all three or four found out, it left me a little sad because they didn’t get to hear it from me regardless of their excitement.

Manning the front office on my second day

My first day wasn’t so bad. The person who had asked me to join on a voluntary basis was there and seeing him put my fears to rest. The most outstanding experience from the first day is the sight of a little person - a little man to be exact. I’d never come across a little man just a girl I met at university and we struck up a friendship despite doing different degrees. Seeing the man reminded me of her and it made me smile.
I might have made him a little uncomfortable for I stared at him so intently he ended up leaving. Seriously, I think the sighting of a little person should be as luck inducing as the sighting of a leprechaun. They are both so rare. By the way, referring to a little person as ‘little’ in their presence is an insult to them and their intelligence.

Feeling like a BOSS at my return to work last week

Aside from all that; the work isn’t that bad. And it is all in the name of experience added onto what I gathered from working with mum. If something materializes from this, all the better. If not, it is OK. After all, service is the rent we pay for living on this earth.  The person most amused by all this working for free is my dad. I think he finds it inconceivable as a self made person.
Since I work twice a week, the first picture was taken the week I started and the second picture just last week when I returned after getting better.

Self - Confidence.

We deny our own beauty because others can't or won't recognise it. Instead of accepting ourselves as we are, we try to imitate what we see around us.
We try to be what other people think of as 'pretty' and, little by little, our soul fades, our will weakens, and all the potential we had to make the world a more beautiful place withers away.
We forget that the world is what we imagine it to be.
We stop being the moonlight and become, instead, the pool of water reflecting it. Tomorrow, the water will evaporate in the sun. And all because, one day, someone said: 'You are ugly.' Or: 'She is pretty.' With those three simple words, they stole away all our self-confidence.
And we become ugly and embittered.
Manuscript found in Accra

I downloaded this book but I am yet to find the wherewithal and energy to get lost in it. I know a few people who have read and liked it. When I finally get round to it, I shall keep y’all updated.

My Month!

Took this when I really needed to lift my mood

I’m always excited to see May come by because it is birthday month. Much as I fear aging, the fear never takes away the excitement. I feel like it has been awhile since I posted something… 
I’ve been ill for quite a few weeks in that I am just starting to feel like my normal self again. I feel quite lucid so I guess the medicine is starting to leave the system although the veins still hurt like a bitch and the bruises are yet to fade.

I do not know why but this time I feel the need to buy myself a birthday present. Is it weird? Do people even do this for themselves? I’m yet to kick the urge but if I do find myself with the ability to buy myself one, I shall let all of you know. What I do know for sure is; I shall do so come next year, God willing.
Happy  May everyone. x

J’Adore: Caricatures.

My sister did these caricatures of us – me, her and our brother and I couldn’t be more amazed. I have been fascinated by caricatures of people for the longest time and thought to have many of my family as decor for when I am finally blessed with a home and house of my own. I find them really amusing, unique and fun to have. No one ever thinks of them as decor but they are quite impressive when done right. You either have a big head with the tiny body or one of your limbs as the focal point for the drawing while everything else is small.

Me and my siblings

When she shared these, I couldn’t get over the wonderment of it all most especially my mother’s! When I look at them (which I do all the time) I keep seeing her smile – she just shows teeth and her eyes. It is really her. I’m not saying my brother’s and sister’s aren’t like them just that my mother’s made quite the impression which I love.

My Mother

 For clarity, I am the one on the left in the upper picture (she even got my signature hair right the side-swept bangs), my sister Sue then Sad our brother, and below is our mother.

Wet ‘Expressions’ Look.

Being all over the runways of Fashion Week Spring 2013 notwithstanding, Beyonce singlehandedly tried to bring back the wet hair with her 2014 MTV Music Awards performance look.
In this vein, I decided to take a couple of pictures after washing my hair to see if I too can successfully rock it – for a few hours at least.
Honestly, I love how lustrous and dark the hair looks although a little thinner due to the moisture. Also the curls were revived after the wash.

Wet - Look Hair

If you really want to commit; I bet you could add styling gel to keep the look for a week or two while it is still wet. All mine had to it was hair lotion so it’d retain the lustre and shine when dry.

And this is how Beyonce looked during her performance. In hindsight; I should have gone full glam and given her a run for her money!

Beyonce at the 2014 MTV Music Awards

PS: All the pictures were taken during the air drying process since synthetic weaves are flammable.