Disappointment

This is what we nowadays term as a ‘throwback’ post because I wrote it last year 15th/12/2014 to be exact. At a time when I was so frustrated, moody and disappointed with someone I thought would eventually be a life partner. The feelings were mutual and much as the conversations at the start felt like pulling teeth, I loved his company and who he was.
I titled it ‘disappointment’ because it is how I felt and still do. Disappointed mostly in having to let go of someone who I share religious affiliations with. This is what hurt the most - letting go of a good Muslim guy. I attract boys who hardly share my religious beliefs and finding someone who does is a godsend that I treasure. To have to let go of one is painful.

Disappointment
You know what disappointment is?
Disappointment is the realisation that the person you thought would be your life partner wants to change you into someone you are not.
It is knowing; however much you may ignore your instinct, it will always be right at the end of the day.
It is facing up to facts of life. Much as you may like the person, you will never be his ideal.
It is knowing that the people you care about will always find you lacking.
It is in the knowledge that; that picture in your mind of the two of you shall never come to pass.
It is in the knowledge that you will never be who you truly are with him for fear of criticism.
Disappointment is what makes the heart ache over what it is losing.
Letting go of someone you truly care about hurts but at the end of the day, you have to look after YOU.

By the time it came to this; I had ignored all the tell tale signs until I couldn’t anymore.