Monday, December 10, 2012

Stuck In A Bottomless Pit 2.0

I forgot to mention that when you are filled with sorrow and your heart aches from it all; it doesn’t mean you have to look and sound it. No. Much as I feel sad, I can’t get myself to sound and look it because I am neither looking for pity nor sympathy. I don’t want to be that friend or person you know who always complains and whines about their life and puts a damper on your mood just by being in his/her presence. I hate people like that and I definitely don’t want to be one. We all know when you feel like crap, you put on your favorite outfit and a smile to show the world you have it together.
God probably is aware of my mood funk because I got two unexpected visits from some of my favorite men. My uncle the Attorney at law and brother on the same day. My uncle is a barrel of laughs! Whenever we’re in each others’ presence, we always laugh our heads off like a bunch of hyenas. He regales me with all his court cases and the people who seek his help. He managed to take my thoughts off of everything the time he was around.
I somewhat told my brother about my mood when he came around. So depressed to the point of uninstalling Whatsapp and deleting my twitter! He surprised me when he asked why I took my mood out on innocent Whatsapp and the twitter followers. What was I to say to that? All I know is I’ll probably return to both at the beginning of next year, if God wills. Spending those few hours with my brother lightened my mood. However stingy I were with the details pertaining my feeling of sorrow, It was nice to know he would listen without offering solutions and whatnot. At the end of it all; that is what really matters. That is what someone needs, the willingness to listen and understand not just to offer an opinion or solution otherwise known as Empathic Listening.
Of course there are times when my mood lightens but the heart ache doesn’t go away. It is like a dark cloud hanging around. For now, wallowing is a little overdue and I am gonna indulge in it until it goes away. There is too much to cry about and every thought brings tears to my eyes. Until this stops, when the thoughts stop inducing tears, then I shall be done with it.

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