A Belated Two Year Anniversary.

It was at the back of my mind to do an anniversary post on the day I started this blog but kept pushing it back. I wasn’t sure of the actual date. All I remembered with clarity was that I started it in November and not the actual date hence had to go back to my very first post which was on 11/4/2010 to be sure.
Shanahfied is TWO freaking years!! What’s happened in these two years?

 It has come to my attention that my uncles read my blog! I was mortified to know this at first because they are family. No one knows you best and critiques worse than family! The good thing to come out of this knowledge is; they like my blog and think I am good at self expression. The mortification is still there but a little less I should say? The thought still gives me the shivers when I dwell on it.
The readership views are certainly up and I am glad for the followers who keep trickling in unexpectedly. I love that my friends read and comment here and on Facebook. It means a lot. I may not say it much, but, it does.
OK, I would love to write about me being at parties, dating etc but fact is; I am not doing either of those things at the moment. When I do, I’ll certainly write about said experiences. Otherwise….TWO FREAKING YEARS, BABY! 

I Promise Myself...

The Secret Quotes on twitter shared this letter of Promise and I identified with some of the promises written unknowingly. I have tried to remain true to myself amongst other things. The only thing I would add is try not to be so much of a slacker? 

Lunch with friends.

So me and my friends officially celebrated the new year by having lunch. We have this do whereby we go to different restaurants, hangouts etc and have lunch. As I said before; it is a great way to connect and spend a few hours in each others’ company by catching up, gossiping and people watching.
We went somewhere where there was an endless parade of fashionable teens, show offs and certain people who should know better. The food was good and so was the environment. I think the proprietors thought we were going to spend all our money on their services cause we spent a good few hours there ordering this and that.
Here’s a few pictures of me, my friends and all that we had to eat. Nothing beats good food with great company.

The One That Got Away.

I am a huge fan of Katy Perry, her last album ‘Teenage Dream’ was one of my favourite albums from her. I feel like she wrote most of the songs off that album with me in mind and probably her too cause she showed  a lot of passion and love for what she does on this album. She is a fabulous songwriter.

Last year was such a successful year for her and it saddens me cause she ended it on a bad note- she split with her husband Russell Brand. I sometimes wonder why celebrities bother to get married when they are going to divorce each other in a few months. Better to live in sin than regret a year or months of of your life making a mockery out of the sanctity of marriage and the vows that come with. There is really nothing wrong with having a long engagement, is there?!

To get back to the point, I love her song, ‘The One that got away’ at the moment. We all have that one person who you think was/is right for you, the one you would have done anything for just to be together…. It is one of those songs you listen to and end up taking an unwanted walk down memory lane sifting through memories you thought were long forgotten.

The video…can’t get enough of it, I always watch it in entirety when it comes on telly. I hope you like it as much as I do. xoxo

My 2011 Highlights

It is hard to believe this year has almost come to an end so soon. Feels like we were anxiously awaiting its arrival in that, I remember how I spent the time between 11pm and 12am 2011 so well. Quite a lot has happened this year that I have decided to share some of my personal highlights.
Je suis un étudiant français. That right there translates to "I am a French Student". Yes, I am still on the journey to become a french speaker cause it is one of the languages that I love with a passion. French people sound so sexy with their accents when speaking English and I want to be one of those.
The Royal Wedding. I have to talk about this because I was amongst those who anxiously waited for the day with bated breath. I remember asking my brother if he would go see them since he lives around the the Westminster abbey and he told me, “there’s nothing special about them. They also wipe their own shit!” It was a beautiful ceremony and it made me believe that true love for some exists and that a commoner can also marry a royal as long as you are patient and believe in the relationship.
Lunch With Friends. Me and my closest friends started having once in a while lunch dates which we have started looking forward to. We pick a restaurant, meet their and then show the food what we are made of. It is a good way to stay connected to each other and also catch up since we are all at different stages in life and working.
Facebook Pages. I made a blog post about an interactive Facebook page for a reality TV show that I joined. The show is on hiatus at the moment and I miss the page. Being on it taught me so much about people and how they will always stick to their opinion, beliefs and give unwavering support to someone they love however flawed. And that; however much we may disagree, we have a TV show in common which we all love.
Beautifully Fierce. Out of the blue and with encouragement from my friends, I went ahead to create a blog about Fashion and Beauty which I look at as an outlet for a hobby that I love. I am so pleased with it despite the small number of followers which I can over look seeing that it is new. I went ahead to create both a twitter account and Facebook page for it as social media is not only influential, it is everything these days. I love the fact that my friends and others like it.
Friends With Babies. Most of my closest friends became first time mothers this year. I am so happy and proud of them naturally. Motherhood is an awesome experience…well not about the labor process but everything that comes after that. Three of them had boys and one had a girl whose name coincidentally starts with “A” which is the letter I had chosen for all my future babies. PS: I already have the names picked out with a few back ups if anyone I know uses one of my chosen ones.
First Anniversaries. This blog  and my blackberry are a year old. I started this blog when 2010 was coming to an end and got the blackberry around the same time. I am proud of this blog and I thank everyone that is following it because it means a lot. I never thought it would grow in followers as much as it has when I started it but people surprised me and for that I am very appreciative. I love my blackberry to bits in spite of all my friends’ suggestions that I upgrade to android technology. What they don’t know is that if I do; I wouldn’t be a blackberry boss…would I?
Friendship death. I had to let go of a friendship that meant so much to me this year. Sometimes, you have to do what you think is right even if it makes you seem shallow to others. It is quite impossible to maintain a friendship with someone who you keep hearing negative talk about from your own family and not make a decision. I do miss the friendship but blood is thicker than water as they say and I have to stick with my family no matter what.
All In My Head. There was a boy I used to talk with frequently and thought we were gong somewhere with it. Unfortunately, it was all in my head and probably a castle in the air on my part so…I am without a doubt very alone, single and NOT frightened. We deal with the cards we’re dealt with in this life.
Reading And Loving It. My reading has been great this year, in fact it has improved. I can’t complain because it has kept me occupied a couple of times. It is good to maintain a reading culture and habit for so many reasons; not only do you improve on your vocabulary, you are also introduced to quite a number of new words you’d hardly come across.
I don’t remember making a resolutions lists at the beginning of this year which makes this a little hard. Inasmuch as it would be nice to know if I have accomplished what I set out to do- I am happy with what has happened so far.  

On that note, I would like to wish y'all a great 2012 and May God continue to bless us with his infinite blessings, Love, health and happiness in the forthcoming year.

Death

In my religion, it is said that each day we spend on earth, celebrate a birthday is a day closer to our death. Death is really not something we all think about; some people believe they are immortal and have the right to do and act as they please yet it’s not true. Much as we may not know when and how death is coming for us, it is something we must all go through. At the end of the day, what you did whilst alive, the legacy you left is what counts most when you die.

The past week 5/10/11 someone who you may not take as important but an inspiration to me and so many others passed away. This was the co-founder of Apple, Steve Jobs. He died of pancreatic cancer a disease he’d been battling for so long. I normally don't talk about celebrities or famous people because of the superficial that is their lives and jobs but the passing of this person is really a great loss. He changed the technological world as we knew it and as a technology freak, I am saddened.

As a bonafide curious soul who is fond of killing random cats out there, I am fascinated by people's intellect and thought processes. What a person says and thinks can give you an insight to who they are and Steve Jobs was simply a great man who did great things.  I read his famous speech and aside from knowing what he went through, two paragraphs jumped out at me. His thoughts and beliefs on death and the motto he lived by, "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right."

How many times have we come across a saying that goes, 'live each day like it was your last' but never take it seriously? You read it and wonder how it is you're going to live your day like it is your last, what it is you're going to do to make it count. When no options come up, we all go back to our normal daily routines. The speech was so thought provoking and inspirational that it made me reflect on death, what it is I have done so far to inspire (or not) the people around me? I practically spent the day thinking about it. When I told a friend of mine about how I felt, she mocked me asking if I cared that much! I had to share with her Steve Jobs' speech to put my point across. She took her words back!

There has been few people that have made me reflect on death as much as Steve Jobs' did; my grandfather, Heath Ledger and Michael Jackson. All these people's deaths were sudden, no battles with long term illnesses unlike Steve Jobs. When the death anniversaries of these people come to pass, I am reminded of where I was when they passed and the feelings their deaths evoked. You may not believe this but I mourned Heath Ledger's death. I felt my heart break when I heard the news about his death and the same goes for Michael Jackson. As for my grandfather; it is coming to six years and I still find the knowledge that he isn't among us a little hard to take. I remember the last words he personally said to me and it brings tears to my eyes when I think about him so much. I end up being emotionally overwhelmed by the loss.

However hard it might be to think and talk about death, the number of loved ones we lose, it is the culmination of the lives we lead on earth. We all have to go through it whether we want to or not no matter our social and financial stature in life. What really matters is the good deeds we did while living, whether small or large enough to make an impact on the human race; it’s all that matters, nothing else.

Like Steve Jobs' said, "No one wants to die. Even the people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet, death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because death is very likely the single best invention of life. It is life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away."

Single For The Moment.

When we are in a relationship, we tend to let go of our values, what we really wanted out of it in the first place and we learn that everything is not about you. We lose our selves because we want to make the other person happy.

You never know how much of yourself is lost until you're out of the relationship and forced (sometimes) to be single for whatever period of time. You suddenly realize how hard and unbearable it is to be single when all you see are happy couples.

I'll be happy to tell you that Me, Myself and I have been in the longest relationship. The duration of this relationship has brought a lot of good things to the fore and I have managed to learn a few things.

I have managed to be there for my friends. Through the good, bad and ugly. I don't know why some girls let go of their friendships all because of a man. Friends other than family are the one thing that remains constant, especially good friends. They will always be there to see you through bad boyfriends, dates etc.

I learnt that if a guy really likes you and is interested in you, he'll do whatever it takes to have and be with you. I have a lot of friends who make excuses for the guys they happen to be interested in. we've all heard, 'he is busy,' 'works a lot,' excuses but truly, he just doesn't care as much as you do. Relationships are a two way street, you should receive just as much as what you've put in.

Being single gives you a chance to re-evaluate and honestly think about what it is you want out of your next relationship. Something that would be of mutual benefit and not just for one party's satisfaction. There is a time when you think you're on the same page with the person you're dating only for something to happen and make you realize that; not only aren't you on the same page, you're not even on the same chapter!

You re-gain your inner confidence. Most of us ladies go through stressful relationships in that by the time you're out of it, you're unsure of what to do next and feel inferior because the guy took away yourself confidence. Its through being single that you get a chance to regain your self confidence and build on it.

You get to find out who you truly are and what it is you want. Until you really know who you are and are honest to yourself, you'll never know what it is you want. And before you find yourself, you'll never be happy nor be able to make the other person happy.

So… go ahead and be single. Don't let yourself be the kind of guy or girl who goes from one relationship to the next. Give yourself time to discover who you really are and what you want out of a relationship before you embark on another one.

Website Take 2!

I hit a snug in the building process when it came to getting it hosted and tested. I found out that getting a website hosted here is quiet expensive especially the monthly charges. I put hosting it on the back burner while I looked around for other avenues like getting free hosts for a year, but that would have meant me having to change the domain name and of course hosting websites which would not be cool. I let the idea rest for quite a few months….
I got the absolutely best news today! It inspired the artist in me! So, I had a talk with a family friend. He asked what my plans were since I am done with school and studied Information technology. The talk touched on my idea of having a website and how I had to let go of the idea for a while because hosting fees were steep.
Apparently, internet business is the way to go in this age (I knew that) and he liked my idea of building a personal website. He had a lot of suggestions to make and ideas to give that I was so inspired. He said I could make the website then get it hosted abroad because their hosting fees are so little or at least pocket friendly…How cool is that? That never occurred to me at all.
Thinking about it makes me more excited with the idea and all the pros that come with getting it hosted somewhere else and not in my home country. The internet connection here is so poor yet we are charged an arm and a leg for poor service. The people are shamelessly brave when it comes to delivering poor services to paying customers. All they care about is their bottom line and not your professionalism.
The more I think about it the more convinced I get. So… now, I am going back to the drawing board and re-start on the whole design and layout. I want my website to bring in lots of traffic so I can reap off the time and investment I will put into it. I would like it to be more professional and interesting. I have to have kick ass content because I would like it to be Fabulous and Fun like its creator!
Wish me luck y'all. I hope to get it hosted and share it with you. Fingers crossed.
  

Resolutions.

Its 11pm and I absolutely can't sleep. A lot is weighing on my mind and I don't know why. The urge to write has completely taken over me and the good thing is, it helps when I write.

The year is coming to an end within a week's time. I look back on some of the resolutions that I made for 2010 and realize that, I accomplished fewer than I had intended/made.

They say a 'resolution' should be an achievable goal that is supposed to improve on your life or being. Something that will bring personal gratification and fulfillment. That we should all resolve to do things that we will be able to accomplish within a specific time frame. Things that we put off due to lack of time or motivation to finish.

I realize that resolutions have no specific time frame that is neither an end nor a beginning; people will still make the same resolution year in and year out hoping to finally fulfill it. If someone doesn't have the desire to accomplish a goal they had set aside for themselves, what's the use in making them at all? Because a goal is supposed to give your life purpose and the vision to achieve it.

Some people don't believe in resolutions. They say, 'why make a plan for myself when God already has plans for me?' I find that totally lacking in zeal/spirit. The desire one has to accomplish their own goals. Goals that will bring personal fulfillment. There is something satisfying about achieving the unattainable.

I find that failure to make plans for oneself shows a total lack of character or weakness within a person. What's wrong with making your plans alongside God's plans for you? Besides, we never know what God has planned for us and it is kind of risky to leave everything to chance, when we all know that God helps those who help themselves.

Starting a blog is something I never believed I would carry off despite my love for writing, neither did I think I'll actually put it out there but, hey, am happy about it and it gives me joy.

However big or small your resolution is for 2011; don't fail to write it down as a goal. You may have the spirit within you to accomplish it and the satisfaction will be beyond your imagination. The feeling you get when you've acquired and achieved everything you ever wanted is the best you'll ever have. Go for it and don't be afraid to make your resolutions no matter what.

 

xxxShanahxxx

Ps: Wrote this a week to the end of 2010. Did not want to change it.

 
 

 

loss

 Why is loss the hardest thing to go through? Why do we have to lose friends, the people that we care about in this process? Why does it turn out that the person you trusted the most is the one that you should have been wary of more than anything in the world?

I wonder if everyone thinks about the loss of a great friend. Loss in the sense that you had to let go of the friendship due to something that happened not because of death

I had a friend who I loved talking to so much, everything was all about laughter and fun with a bit of seriousness here and there. The sad thing is that this friend took advantage of our friendship and did something I least expected. It wasn't a big deal but for some reason I can't move on from that and when I see her, I feel this overwhelming rage. I don't want her near me nor associating with the people I talk to yet we have people we share in common.

When I think about the moments we shared, I end up regretting the loss of that friendship because I do miss her. I sometimes wonder if I handled that situation badly. I can't help think to myself that maybe its my fault, the way things are between us.

However much I might regret the loss of the friendship, I don't feel any remorse in letting go of her because, I feel that, once someone wrongs you and you forgive, they might take advantage of you at some point in the future.

Maybe I just have an unforgiving nature?