Monday, November 24, 2014

Why Are You Single?

The above question has been posed my way several times and more often lately. In moments of cheekiness, my usual reply is,’I don’t know why because if I were a boy, I would date me.’ I know most of you think I am single because I am a three legged hussy. It would be the first thought that comes to mind but this is not the case. Most of the boys I have dated and tried to are normal, no handicap whatsoever. This is something a man who propositioned me brought to my attention. It had never crossed my mind until he asked whether they boys I have attempted to date are handicapped or not. I have never been hit on by a handicapped person though.
I think one knows why a situation is so or at least has an inkling why at the back of their minds and I think I do. Although mostly through opinionated friends and family who are not afraid to let you know what they think. According to my family and friends these are the reasons they claim I am still single.
I chase away the boys. I had quite the laugh over this a few years back when my cousin said it. But judging from recent occurrences, it has turned out to be true. I don’t chase away the boys because I want to, no. The situation usually calls for it. Case in point; a stranger recently sent me a text on WhatsApp. I asked for the name of the person that gave him my number, he kept quiet but went as far as asking for a meet. Really? My reply to him was, ‘since you won’t tell me who gave you my number, let’s meet in our dreams.’ What makes them think they will get their way when I don’t get mine?
Time Constraints. The few boys I have attempted to date tell me how I never give them enough time and I am always busy. Contrary to that I am never as busy not until lately. The time issue is a pet peeve of mine. If we make a date at 12:00pm and you decide to show up at 2:00pm best believe I shall never make time for you unless we are in the same place at the same time. My allowance is 30 minutes. If you don’t show within that then I am sorry.
Lack of Emotions. Apparently I lack a show of emotions so much that even when I am interested in the guy and very much like him, I won’t show it. What’s there to show? I let you touch me when you are talking and I try much as I can to sit close to you? Our knees touch at some point, so what show of emotions does one want? I am not the kind of girl who will be all over a boy just because I like him. I want the knowledge to be enough. It took me forever to utter the words ‘I love you’ and this is to only friends and family.
Rude. I think I am misunderstood here. People take my bluntness and honesty for rude which is so wrong. On my off days; I don’t entertain foolishness of any sort. And since I don’t I am quite brutal in the delivery. Which puts off those that want something else from me.
Lack of seriousness. This is one of the reasons I have come to know personally. My level of seriousness depends on how serious the other person is. If you come and tell me, ‘I like you’ once and we maintain a friendship, I automatically think you mean it in a friendly way and nothing else. And with me; friends are a no go area. No way, no how! Make your intentions clear and we figure out how to proceed.
Habit. I think having the personality of a loner plus single status is a loner’s haven. 90% of the time I am by myself and quite used to keeping my own company that it has now turned into a habit. When forced to contemplate traversing the dating world and all the negatives that sometimes come with it, the thoughts enforce my being single. I try here and there but majority of it all ends up with me remaining in my comfort zone while there is a little broken heart with my name on it living the world.
On the whole though; You could say I am waiting for someone serious preferably a man. Someone who knows what he wants and goes after it. Someone who will not let me make the decisions nor be intimidated by me. Because these relationship attempts crash and burn when left to my own devices. I have been single for far too long to be left with the choice of picking a time and day for a date. I will definitely not try unless you are on my case. I have grown accustomed to my single status that digging myself out of it will be a huge deal.
Since I don't want to be the spinster aunt to my friends' kids, I am trying to take chances and figure things out as they happen.

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