Thursday, November 25, 2010

loss

 Why is loss the hardest thing to go through? Why do we have to lose friends, the people that we care about in this process? Why does it turn out that the person you trusted the most is the one that you should have been wary of more than anything in the world?
I wonder if everyone thinks about the loss of a great friend. Loss in the sense that you had to let go of the friendship due to something that happened not because of death
I had a friend who I loved talking to so much, everything was all about laughter and fun with a bit of seriousness here and there. The sad thing is that this friend took advantage of our friendship and did something I least expected. It wasn't a big deal but for some reason I can't move on from that and when I see her, I feel this overwhelming rage. I don't want her near me nor associating with the people I talk to yet we have people we share in common.
When I think about the moments we shared, I end up regretting the loss of that friendship because I do miss her. I sometimes wonder if I handled that situation badly. I can't help think to myself that maybe its my fault, the way things are between us.
However much I might regret the loss of the friendship, I don't feel any remorse in letting go of her because, I feel that, once someone wrongs you and you forgive, they might take advantage of you at some point in the future.
Maybe I just have an unforgiving nature?

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