Tired

I wrote this early last year when I was at my wits' end from people asking me to get out of hibernation and socialise, go out and date e.t.c. It was quite frustrating and seeing as it has come full circle and that I still feel this way; I thought it best to share.

I don't want to give up but I feel it is what I should do.
Tired of searching.
Tired of flirting.
Tired of trying.
Tired of playing the field.
I just want it to happen when the time is ripe for it.
I don't want to have to work at it.
I want it to be effortless: a mutual meeting of two lost souls coming together.
I don't want to give up but I feel; giving up is the best thing I can do to let what is meant to be happen.
In its own time and in its own way.

Shanah

Guilty Pleasures.

Day 18 of the Writer’s challenge. I know my posts and participation are sporadic but it can not be helped. To get back to the topic of ‘Guilty Pleasures’ here are some of mine. Though, I doubt they fit the ‘guilty’ mold.

Rain 

Reality Shows. I diss, sour grape and bellyache about them but I am a serious consumer of those things. They have drama that never happens in my life and the women fight at the drop of a hat for the stupidest of reasons. My eyes are always wide in surprise and shock over those women’s actions.

Flirting. When done right, I think it is one of the most enjoyable experiences a girl can ever have. Especially if done with a man of a certain age. With him, you know it is not going anywhere. You get to test your imagination, both boundaries, practice skills and learn a few things while for him it is like a pleasant stroll  down memory lane. I miss it because I no longer have a flirt buddy. My skills are so rusty!

The smell of rain. I love that scent that permeates the air when the first few drops of rain hit really dry soil. I think of it as one of nature’s purest and freshest scent. If someone could capture that scent and put it in a bottle, I’d be a customer. I take these long and deep breathes with the need to keep the smell at my nostrils when the rain finds me near a dusty area. I can’t get enough of that scent.

Sitting on the floor. I am most comfortable on the floor and find nothing wrong with it. I have a couch in my room which is mostly used by my mother and sometimes brother while I spend a lot of my time on the rug. I nap on the rug with a pillow and light blanket, draw and create – really bad for the back and neck. All from the floor sometimes.

Interactive Pages. I’ve rekindled the love for participating in posts on pages I liked long ago. You learn all sorts of things when you participate. For instance; I recently learned there is such a thing as sexual maturity. Judging from the post it is a level a girl arrives to after being with multiple sexual partners and has realized there is no such thing as sexual fidelity in today’s world. Thus has no expectations of such from her man or men. With sexual maturity she is able to objectively handle her man’s faithfulness (or lack there of) by not being bothered by his stepping out (if he chooses to) long as he is protected. Where else does one come across such school of thought?

Those are my guilty pleasures.


Photo Credit: Google