When Loneliness Speaks

I couldn't help looking at you.
Cute face, cuter smile,
It lingered on my brain.

Made me wish we had crossed paths earlier,
Before the band on your finger.

I kept looking in your direction,
Entertaining thoughts I had no reason to,
But couldn'tbe denied.

You had my loneliness speak louder than before.

Her Mother

Her Mother.
Her strength,
Her courage,

The adoration she basks in with each success,
The source of pride in her uncompromising values,
The beacon of hope in an uncertain future,
The unwavering faith behind her pursuit of happiness,
The will behind her indomitable persona,

Her courage,
Her strength,
Her Mother.

Your Face On Mine

No.
I don't know how to kiss.
But, I do know,
I want to feel your face on mine.
To look into your deep-set eyes,
Until all I see is my reflection.
Rub the tip of my nose with yours,
And prolong the anticipation.
To feel you draw breath,
As you prepare to drink in my taste.
Watch my hands,
As they wind themselves around your neck.
Pulling you closer,
Into our embrace.
While we slowly kindle,
The fire that sizzles between us.

No.
I don't know how to kiss.
But, I do know,
I want to feel your face on mine.

xShanahx

Shattered Heart

Her head held high,
She stands tall and proud,
Making solemn promises,
Never to see the one who stole her heart.

Beneath the facade,
Pieces of her broken heart are trying to break the wall that's keeping the pressure in.

If only she could be alone for a minute,
Free the jagged pieces of her shattered heart.

But she has to hold onto the facade a moment longer.
Which she will!
If her will doesn't break under the pressure,
Let her down like her heart did.


Shanah

Choice

We have no say over the memories people choose to keep of us.

We only have it over the feelings we evoke in them. 

Those last longer than the memories. 

x Shanah

Lost Love

Love of each others lives,
Back from the past,
On the brink of something new,
Something wonderful,
Would it be the same?
Because time took its toll.
Led them to different paths,
Changed them from who they used to be,
Into people they hardly recognize.
Is it worth the chance?
To carry on from where they left of,
Love as adults,
For they have changed.
They are hardly who they used to be.
Have fought indescribable battles,
Battles that left them scarred,
Yet here they are,
On the brink of discovery,
Of finding out,
If what life took from them,
Is something they ever wanted,
A second chance to love,
To live out their love story,
And finally see where it might lead,
If indeed their story was meant to last,
Marked as their final one,
In the book of life.

- Shanah

I wrote this poem in 2015 and coming across it while going through my starred emails was such a pleasure. I think it was inspired by the telenovela, "What Life Took From Me". The first but not last poem I wrote inspired by a telenovela. This goes to show how addicted I am to those things.






Photo credit: googledotcom

You Don't Know Me Enough

You don't know me enough
You don't know me enough to call me 'Honey',
You don't know me enough to call me 'Sugar',
You don't know me enough to call me 'Baby',
You don't know me enough to call me 'Boo',
You certainly don't know me enough to call me 'Love'.
Call me by my name.
Say it when we talk.
Write it in reference to me.
Then I'll know you know,
who you're talking to,
The person behind the name.

Shanah

Romance

Dear girl,
Romance is food for the soul.
Stay away from the boys who don't offer it.
They are robbers of emotional deposits.
However liberal you are in your thinking,
You need these little acts from boys.
To remind you of your femininity,
To drive home the message;
You are desirable.

Shanah







Photo Credits: google

The Story Of You.

When you grow up,
You meet a lot of people,
People who will write the story of you,
In the book of life.
You will come across the curious souls,
Whose sole purpose is to sketch a mental outline of you,
Once it's done, you will never see them again.
You will come across the users,
Interested in their own journey,
With you as the vehicle to their destination.
You will come across the genuine souls,
The ones interested in your story,
And wish to be part.
They will go as far as lending a hand,
In the writing process.
Fill out their mental sketch of you,
Detail by detail,
Bringing you to life.
Stick with the genuine souls,
They are interested in writing the story of you,
At your pace,
While reading it,
In the book of life.

- Shanah

Photo Credits: google.com

The Guest House

I came across this poem from Rumi whilst going through feed from +Ideapod   and simply had to share because it resonates and sums up all the feelings we have to deal with as humans on a daily basis. You never know what mood is going to keep you company when you wake up nor spend the day with.

“The Guest House ~
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”
Rumi

It's main message is to embrace it all, no matter what. However much it hurts, at the bottom of it all comes relief as long as you immerse yourself in the feelings and not fight them.

Good Day

Meet me on a good day
When my hair is shiny and beautiful
When I look fly as fuck
When what happens after wont matter
Because I felt good about myself
Good enough to meet you.

A Selfless Love

In the face of so much pain,
A situation where anybody else would be zealously selfish;
A good heart,
Remains selfless in its love.
Shanah Shameem

The Way It Is

It's sad you no longer see the truth in my words without getting your back up.
You are the one person I have ever shared my truths with implicitly.
With each truth lately,
I am either pushing you away or explaining myself.
I do not want to explain myself.
It is either you believe or not.
Your actions and responses claim you do not and it is OK.
You may not be fine with the way things are but I am.
I am fine with the way it is.

Shanah

One Day

I'd like for one day,
On a bright sunny afternoon,
To sit on a park bench
Side-to-side with the one  I love.
Listening to the sound of birds,
As they flit past.

On that one day,
I'd love nothing more than,
To feel the love between us,
Basking in the solitude
Of our silence.

Shanah

Tired

I wrote this early last year when I was at my wits' end from people asking me to get out of hibernation and socialise, go out and date e.t.c. It was quite frustrating and seeing as it has come full circle and that I still feel this way; I thought it best to share.

I don't want to give up but I feel it is what I should do.
Tired of searching.
Tired of flirting.
Tired of trying.
Tired of playing the field.
I just want it to happen when the time is ripe for it.
I don't want to have to work at it.
I want it to be effortless: a mutual meeting of two lost souls coming together.
I don't want to give up but I feel; giving up is the best thing I can do to let what is meant to be happen.
In its own time and in its own way.

Shanah

Self- Preservation

Early last year, I remember telling one of my sisters that I feel like I am falling in love with someone from my past. A boy I went to university with but unfortunately, that’s where it ended. After several years of silence between us, months of communication as he was studying abroad, he turned out to be more shadier than the few years I had known him. It hurt to be disappointed by him for a second time but it was a little easier to get over him.
In all the mix was a guy I chatted with on and off (an exception to my do not chat with anyone rule) someone who knew me more than the blast from the past and felt connected with. I felt understood by him and as the months went by, I caught feelings. It is so funny how the tables turn for he wasn’t my centre of attention in all the on and off chatting years yet suddenly, he tested what we had and I fell. I fell for a guy in the most trying and vulnerable year of my life!
I like to think of myself as a girl with good judgement but my history when it comes to boys just pushes that thought right out of the window. I kept thinking ‘I had the misfortune to fall for the hardest guy in the world’ through that period. I fell for someone who would rather tell the world our problems instead of talking to me directly yet professes to love communication, someone who gave and took with one hand, and to top it off an emotional leech!
At the beginning of 2016, after several months of silence in a bid to save and rid myself of all this emotional chaos, I sent him a new year’s message and asked for a clean slate with the intention to either get to know each other better or end things on good terms. To have a clean slate was a tug of war where he said really nasty things that I let slide until he went too far and I let him have it. I sent him an E-mail to this date that I am very proud of.
He must be a gluttony for pain because he continued to seek me out after the e-mail and weakling that I am towards him (a fact he knows) gave in to him. I left open the lines of communication only to be disappointed once again. I do not know why I thought he would be any different from last year. I curse the infinite hope God bestowed on us women.
I have never known the true meaning of heartache until this guy. I have never felt such ceaseless emotional pain until this guy. At this moment, I do not even remember what going around with a light heart feels like. My chest is constantly weighed down by this little baggage on my heart and because of it, I made the decision to try and get off this emotional roller-coaster he seems to enjoy having me on. I gave in to childish behavior and blocked him because I am simply tired of constantly aching and having my emotions played with for his enjoyment. I want to forget and heal which cannot be with him seeking me out when the mood strikes him.
I marked the start date of the block and mentally gave myself the Lenten period but as far as things go, I may as well give myself 6 months to a year until the little baggage on my heart eases. It is kind of funny looking back on the history of this blog. In all the five years, I can count on one hand the number of posts that are boy inspired. I hope and pray that number doesn’t rise. May God accept.

Ps: I wrote the poem last year. Amazing how words come to you even before you reach the situation.

Silence

I am still trying to find ME; the person I was in the ashes of heartache and sadness. One thing people neither know nor realize is that they should never ever attempt to give hope to a person who permanently looks at the glass as half empty. It is nothing short of cruel.

It is that acknowledgement on how things truly are that brought these words to mind a couple of weeks ago,  where,  not only did I not feel any sense of loss but the little baggage that has been weighing on my heart for a few months now is no longer heavy. Silence is truly golden and I hope it remains so.

I am on the right path on this journey of finding my inner self this year and I am looking forward to being the person I know I am as the year progresses. 

Snippets

Spirit

"Poetry is not for the poets but those who need it."-Unknown 

My January seems to be a replica of everything I went through last year and to say I am happy or OK would be putting a nice face onto emotions I do not feel. I'm barely holding it together.

You know you're lost when you ask a friend to write you a poem. 

I was scrolling through my feed and read a nice update from a person I've known so many years enough to consider a friend about 'beautiful people'. Instead of commenting about his update I asked him to write me a poem as a pick me up. I have always loved his writing and made no secret of it.

Some people have a way of putting ones emotions into words without knowing their full story.

When I asked him to write for me, I never gave him any pointers or direction on the kind of poem I want. But he came up with something that made me tear up. The appropriateness of it in connection to my mood was a surprise. I guess he deduced my feelings, mood and current frame of mind from my posts. The words are simply simply perfect!

 

The spirit wants to roam free, at the sea of your emotions and just be. But fear is like an anchor holding you down. 

The restless thoughts you entertain are making a sound. 

And your skies may be filled with clouds. Understand, you will never be the sun in the universe of another: not even of those you hold dear like mother, father, sister or brother. 

Happiness will shine once your sun is discovered. But first; tears gotta fall like the rain. lifting that anchor will bring pain. 

Sometimes a loss in disguise is a gain. With faith by your side you'll see your sun again. when your skies clear you'll feel sane. 

A spirit is at peace when it's free to sail.

---Nosh

He is the third person to write me a poem. As someone who spent half of last year writing poems to another person, I must say it feels good to be on the receiving end of one albeit at my own instigation. 

All I Wanted.

Deep in the night, we all have those thoughts and words that come to us. I think that is why most writers recommend sleeping with a notebook and pen besides you. To write down your thoughts, feelings and sometimes a thread to a dream you would like to explore.

I have several of these and only started writing them last year albeit in my journal and oftentimes on my phone where I would forget all about them until a certain time necessitating a phone check up arises.

This was my first one and for this year, I asked myself, 'why not?' Why not share them on my blog instead of keeping them on my phone? Since I draw and love to play around with words and filters, I did the combination of both and voila!