Facebook Memories

Facebook memories.

Ghosts from the past that return to haunt you when you least expect it.

When the little notification pings, I brace myself in anticipation of what  might be in store. Good or bad? Morose or gay? What the post might turn out to be never matters much as long as it is not a rant!

There is nothing more cringeworthy than a rant on social media! The sole bane to the gaiety of Facebook memories.

With the daily ping of reminders, the promise I made  myself two years ago; never to rant on social media more so on Facebook lurks. I did so much of it on Twitter that ultimately, I had to delete the account and start afresh. 

However, the year of being a good girl on Twitter never portended well for Facebook.

A time or two; my inner devil has come out to play with little to no provocation. This is what I get for not being able to write as frequently as I did the years before last.

Being whoever you wish to be on social media notwithstanding, I know this is not the person I wish nor desire to be. Hence my decision to get rid of all the people that bring out this side of me.

I no longer desire to see people who bring it out on my timeline. Not anymore. Seeing them in the groups I belong to is emough. Everyone needs a respite from the bullshit at the end of the day.

As dire as the picture I am painting of these little memories may seem, there have been good ones albeit not so many. They have been enough to smile about and chuckle over. Going through the comments rears the friends lost along the way and ones gained. An honest depiction of life, cause we lose and gain some with little regret.
I had banked on Facebook memories to remind me of the good that happened last year. At this point in time; I am inclined to believe they do not exist. Which, if you look at it, may not be a bad thing for we all have that one year or two we wish to forget! 2015 was that year for me.

Smart Phone Addiction

We received new interns at my work place and being with them could not be any more disheartening.
One of my many Supervisors once said I had two strikes against me: being a girl and a three legged hussy. I shall not lie and say I grasped what he meant then, no. But I do see it now courtesy of the interns. The only difference between them and I is: I have two strikes against me while in my opinion they have three – they are girls, with disabilities and without ambition.
There is nothing as saddening as seeing educated girls with disabilities be without ambition. It is awful to witness. First of all; being a girl trying to navigate a prejudiced male dominated workforce is hard, twice as hard for a girls with disabilities and next to impossible for one lacking ambition. Instead of being alert and on the look out for opportunities this internship period could bring them, they would rather spend their every minute on the phone!
Smart phone addiction is the bane of unemployment especially for a girl. She cannot shift attention from those 140 characters, interesting WhatsApp conversations and gossip long enough to complete a task within an hour. If at all it is longer, she has to have breaks to scroll through her news feed, timeline or go like a picture on Instagram.
This marks the divide between them and I, because within two months of my voluntary work, there were talks of making me a staff member which finally happened in May. And it is official now for I got my letter of appointment last week. Would I have made staff if I kept to my Smartphone while supposedly working?
Our generation was dragged and pushed through school by parents. We all had the ‘my parents are making me go to school’ reason as to why we were in school accompanied by these dourest of facial expressions. Now, there is no such talk unless one is the child of the richest man in Uganda for them to use the ‘my parents are forcing me to work’ rejoinder. In their case, they have an inheritance to fall back on once the parents depart this life and do not see the need to work.
Regardless of the situation and inheritance. Every educated girl with or without disabilities should have an ambition and purpose beyond her Smartphone. Have a code of ethics, limit the time spent on the phone and engage with those around you. God did not make the sun shine out of these phones so do not act like it does.

PhotoCredits: Google

Chains

mental chains

A few months ago, I joined a Facebook page for writing inspiration. As someone who loves interactive pages, I would read everyone’s pieces and be left in awe because they are really good. This is something coming from a person who doesn’t consider herself a lover of poetry. All the nuances of poetry are lost to me unfortunately; but it doesn’t mean I cannot appreciate the little I do understand. Being in this group has helped me flex the little muscle I have where poetry is concerned and I have shared several on the page which to my surprise have garnered not less than 20 likes. 
Anyway, one of the writers in the group shared this picture of a a little boy pulling back a wall ‘curtain’ to peak into a rainbow world he had yet to explore. The words came to me after taking a few looks at the picture and as I wrote it all up, I felt like I was talking about myself because I believe, as writers in the making; we write what we feel.

My Facebook Film.

As I was going through my twitter stream, I came across a question from Hootsuite asking whether we’d shared our Facebook films and NO instantly popped into my head. Most of you know Facebook turned 10 last week and as a way of celebrating that milestone; users got to make their Facebook films and share with friends.
Making this film brought back so many nostalgic memories and moments. I joined in 2007 and back then it was a little restricted unlike nowadays. It has gone through a lot of changes which I think are for the better. I know I bellyache and contemplate leaving sometimes but I am still in love with it. It is the only place so far where you can share a multitude of pictures and have interesting conversations with people you’ve never met yet feel like old friends you’ve known for years. I find it a lot more friendly than twitter which is cold in my opinion.
There was a time when Facebook was all about babies! Every picture you came across was of a child or one of your friends holding their baby bump. That period made me promise not to get off Facebook until I posted a picture of little Shanah. LOL. I hope it remains until then because little Shanah is yet to find a daddy to help with the process of her coming into the world.
I unfriended a lot of people too in these 7 years. I used to unfriend people who talked smack about people I liked in 5/10 posts, those who wrote like they have never been to school i.e yhue, xul…Really? And the ones who enjoyed the poking button far too much than they should have at my expense. Now, I don’t have to do all that. No. All I do is uncheck the ‘show in news feed’ tab and voila…no posts from culprits who fall in those categories popping up in my feed.
Much as I am less of an addict these days; Facebook still has me wholeheartedly. I still love it and until little Shanah comes into the world, I shall continue to be a user. So, in the spirit of its celebration, I am sharing my Facebook Film with y'all. I don't know what formula Mark and his team used but I believe most of my good moments are missing.

Enough IS Enough!

I have had it up to here with boys on Facebook! I have reached my limit! I am tired of being terrorized in my messages inbox and chatted up for no reason. My participation doesn’t mean I love it. On the contrary, I am being courteous by indulging you because I don’t want to be rude which is going to change from now on.
A friend once told me I throw tantrums on Facenook-it should have offended me but not quite because why not throw a tantrum in the same place that ignited it?With the crap I have been dealt, I think they are well deserved tantrums and also warnings to those who might get it in their heads to want to disturb me.
I go on Facebook most of the time to play Farmville-yes, I am addicted to this game, maintain a Facebook page my and Emma started up and also to chat with my friends (people I know). Unfortunately some of that time is compromised by random boys who want to chat me up with nonsense. The things they say; well…to sum it up, they get hot and heavy, wax lyric within a day of my having accepted their friend request. The wise wait a little and then all of a sudden launch a full fledged attack! Fun-knee how they terrorise me in my messages inbox and then get all huffy and pissy when I tell them I Am Not Interested!
I sometimes wonder what sort of girl they think I am cause honestly, who in their right mind goes to meet a random stranger within a day or hours of being chatted up? I am neither looking for sex nor selling anything! And they are not worthy the death of a random cat out there for me to kill!
Another thing, boys who get all hot and heavy at once creep the f**k out of me. Flattery in my books never takes you anywhere when you know nothing about me. And always liking my status updates, pictures and comments doesn’t give you the right to terrorise me in my messages inbox nor poke me!
I know people use facebook for sex, relationships etc but I don’t fall in either of those categories. I NEVER want to meet facebook friends and boys on purpose. NEVER! It is one thing I never and still don’t entertain as a thought. The fewer people I know the better.
Because I don’t want to entertain anyone, I try not to get caught up in the senseless chats. I know I can block and restrict everything but I feel I have outgrown all that. So please, do me a favor and LEAVE ME THE F**K ALONE while I am on my farm or not. IF I do so much as bestow on you the pleasure of chatting with me, try and keep your nefarious intentions and purposes to yourself by neither macking on me nor soliciting meetings. Thank you!

Odd Friend Requests!

I have probably been on Facebook a year or two after its inception when it was a baby. Considering that the Social Network is around 7 years old, I should be amongst those who have 1000+ friends as I am an addict and avid user. But this is not the case.

For a social network where you are supposed to make virtual friends and interact freely, share opinions; I am pretty picky when it comes to accepting friend requests. I always wonder how the person who has sent a friend request knows me and what it is they want. Which kind of defeats the purpose of the social network…I know. I end up ignoring most because; some send to become your page stalkers while others to piss you off if  it happens to be a guy who doesn't know better!

We all have a lot of people on our friend's list who hardly comment on our status updates, posts etc. when only 20 out 500 people comment and make an effort to interact with you; does it not make you wonder what the rest really want from your page?

I made a decision to only accept friend requests from people I went to school with: the ones I actually talk with and also those that I personally give my Facebook username. The random requests, I accept and after a month, I remove them as my friends.

Recently the boy who works for us sent me a friend request which begged the questions; what does he want from me? Is it not an invasion of my privacy? I never want people I hardly talk to knowing my business and they are so many where I work. And what this boy probably wants is to show off to these people my pictures and my page basically.

I have never been the sort that limits privacy on pictures and status updates, well... only my friends can view them. Why exclusively limit one person when you can block the person or de-friend? When I saw the friend request from that boy; I customized my privacy settings immediately and limited everything after accepting his friend request!

My main concern was my pictures and there was no way I could restrict those without restricting the status updates too, of which everyone can comment as they like as long as it is not to be stupid and get on my nerves. But, what is he doing by sending me a friend request?

Some people just don't know their boundaries! But then again; my sister was right when she said every Tom Dick Harry and wheelbarrow pusher is on Facebook nowadays.

My Facebook page is personal and private. I don't care if you are spying whilst I am on it but don't go as far as sending me a friend request to really stick it and show me that you have been spying!

Facebook Pages.

Facebook as some or most of us know is a social networking site that connects people. Apart from connecting people and getting them back in touch, it is filled with a lot of pages; for celebrities, TV Series, Magazines, Quotes and Businesses. Some of us have "liked" either one or many pages from the above mentioned categories.
I must confess that I have never actually checked out some of the pages that I "liked." I am one of those people who are content with reading the status updates of the page especially if it's a celebrity's page or a TV Series page. All this changed when my best friend sent me a link to a fan page created by fans for fans of one of my favorite reality show in Africa.
First of all; I am a true addict of Facebook. If I am not on my laptop, I am always on my blackberry writing to my friends or updating my status and commenting on some of my friends' updates. I was trying to kick the addiction until my friend sent me the link to that fan page. Being on it has generally worsened my addiction and I have learnt a few things from it;
I "liked" the page initially because I knew it'd come in handy during days when I am not able to watch the show but still want to know what's happening. I never knew how fun it could be being on an interactive page until I visited it and read through fans wall posts. I now find myself posting and commenting on other people's posts even when I am watching the show.
We have all "liked" pages on Facebook but I have never been on an unofficial page that has been able to reach out to most African countries and fans from abroad. It is amazing that there are all sorts of people from different countries and it continues to grow with each passing day. I guess its growth has to do with the fact that it's more interactive than the official page of the show and the people on it are a little friendlier.
I now know how unreasonably passionate people can be about something or someone. As it is a page for a reality show, most fans have unwavering support towards their country representatives even undeserving ones. They usually attack anyone who says something negative about their representative even when it's the hard cold truth!
One thing I know about Nigeria is that they run the music industry in Africa alongside South Africa. They've managed to put their music onto the international scene and we have all danced to some of their popping tunes. The other thing I've learned about them from that page is that when it comes to this reality show, they have solidarity amongst themselves. They will defend and vote their own because to them, winning is their birth right and so it shall be, even though they have won the past two consecutive years.
It is a good platform to learn about other countries and languages. I find Nigerian Pidgin English so fascinating. Most of their words sound to cool and they beg to be used by curious people like myself even when I don't know the actual meaning. I now know how to greet in pidgin "how una dey", how to ask 'what's going on?' "wetin dey?" and that "W.A.H.A.L.A D.E.Y" means 'there's a problem.'
I have learned to value people's opinions so as to avoid being provoked into senseless arguments because a person will stand by it and trying to sway him/her is a fruitless and aggravating process. An opinion is someone's right however wrong it might be.
I never joined the fan page with the intention of making friends. I always think the fewer friends, the better. What is surprising is that I have made a few friends from and on that page. Some sent friend requests which I accepted and find fantastic because it never hurts learning something new about people every day.
The utterly best thing about this page is that it's something where all fans of the show get a chance to share thoughts, ideas and also rant about the show itself and other unrelated subjects. It is absolutely fun and I love it.
Every time I post or comment on that page, my mind always gives a silent thank you to my best friend because she knows how much of an addict I am to the show and the fan page. Being on it has made me contemplate the thought of creating my own Facebook page though I don't have a clue as to what I should have as content nor what it should be about.
Whatever page you belong to, try and be a little interactive, I am sure you'll end up liking it more than just pressing the 'LIKE' button.

 
  

Facebook Relationships.

Facebook as we all know is a social networking site. I think its one of the greatest creation of our generation. Not only does it allow you to keep in touch and re-connect with friends from school and distant family, it allows us to witness the budding and ending of relationships amongst our friends.

The beginning of a relationship on Facebook is one of the most interesting things that can ever be witnessed, I think. Its more interesting when the couple decides to list the people they're in the relationship with instead of just changing their relationship status to 'in a relationship.' I always wonder why they do that. Do they do it for their friends so they can check out the person they're with or is it a warning to other interested parties?

In the beginning, you get to witness how the couple always spends time on each others walls by writing lovey-dovey messages for all to see. Like they have no phones to either text or call up the other person, or maybe Facebook is that cheap? When you read the posts and comments between them, you wonder as to why they don't get a room?

As the relationship progresses, the lovey-dovey messages and status updates stop, to be replaced by issues and grievances going in the relationship. The couple starts talking about the other party's bad habits seeking advice from their respective friends. This as a mutual friend is when you know that things are going sour!

What I really find amusing is the end of the relationship and its aftermath. Some of them let everyone know how and why they have broken up, they go ahead to 'remove' each other from their respective friend's list and onto abusing each other on their pages and status updates.

The funny thing is, after de-friending each other, one of them will send the other a friend request which will be accepted. You'd think they're going to sort out their problems and get back together but it’s not the case! They go as far as writing about the other party's shortcomings until one of them gets fed up by the feedback from the comments and decides to take the high road by blocking the other party.

I'm not all for airing dirty laundry in public.  As someone I know asked, 'when your parents have a fight, do they go and talk about it in their local News Paper?' It gets annoying when the girls as usual, mourn about end of the relationship and start talking shit about their Ex. What's wrong in being the bigger person by keeping the negative feelings to you? Much as a lot of wrong went down, there were some bits that you loved about the person, enough to be in a relationship with them.

I find that some things are too personal to let everyone know and trashing your Ex all over a social networking site doesn't make you look good. 

xxxShanahxxx