Love Cycle

A month ago, I had a lengthy chat with one of male supervisors after he expressed concern over my love cycle and the lack thereof an active social life. The chat was discomforting to put it mildly but after I got over the cringe factor, I gave him my full attention and took the opportunity to ask a few pertinent questions from a well seasoned man.

"When the opportunity comes, take it. Give it a try."

In the midst of him relaying love related stories of his friends and giving me tips along the way: I reflected upon my love cycle and how far it had come despite all attempts failing to reach butterfly stage. I have given more of me this year than all previous years combined. 

At the beginning of the year, matters of the heart were no where on my list of resolutions. If anything it was the last thing I could conceive of in thought. But, God returned a blast from the past and made me re-think it. Unfortunately, his presence in my life this time round was briefer than the years we spent apart. Suffice it to say; the reasons as to why you never made it with someone in the past apply a second time.

"Have you ever seen a woman drive a relationship?"

When he asked this, I literally laughed out loud! He soundly hit the nail on the head and didn't even know it! I am a control freak! I like to see things go my way and if I can commandeer them, I will! If I can spend a few minutes giving my own father orders like a general: why not a guy of no relation? 

But, I relinquished my control freak tendencies this time round because the guys refused to dance to my tune and toe the line.

"The thing about you girls is: you think just because a relationship failed, the friendship shouldn't remain."

I think maintaining a friendship with someone you like or liked and rejected you is the cruelest thing you can ever do to yourself especially if you have nothing in common to go on. They serve as constant reminders of something that could never be. Those feelings are better invested elsewhere than in a dead end situation. Nevertheless, some people make for better friends and once the friendship is priceless and invaluable that is enough to forget about the little hiccup in friendship.

"What you need is a modern relationship. One without commitment."

Love in the contemporary world as he calls it. Anyway, with those words; I knew he was a man after my own heart. The one thing I am not looking for is commitment! I love my independence and truthfully, the constant presence of people in my space stifles me a lot and makes me resentful. The moody girl that I am cannot handle commitment because my mood is reason enough to get me chucked!

"There is no faithful man and there is no unfaithful man. Once you know the difference between those two you will have successful relationships."

I shall not pretend to lie and say that I understood that. No. However, I took it to mean there is no such thing as fidelity in this generation of ours. If you believe he is faithful or not it is really up to you. It is better to have both eyes wide open and see life for what it truly is.
 As of the moment; I feel my love cycle has been used, abused and mistreated hence needs to be buried for the rest of the year. I have used up my quota of emotional and time investments for this year because emotions I last felt 5 or so 6 years ago were wrought and my heart needs serious stitches. It is for that matter that I am officially taking a break. Try me next year around September. 

Image credit: google

Facebook Relationships.

Facebook as we all know is a social networking site. I think its one of the greatest creation of our generation. Not only does it allow you to keep in touch and re-connect with friends from school and distant family, it allows us to witness the budding and ending of relationships amongst our friends.

The beginning of a relationship on Facebook is one of the most interesting things that can ever be witnessed, I think. Its more interesting when the couple decides to list the people they're in the relationship with instead of just changing their relationship status to 'in a relationship.' I always wonder why they do that. Do they do it for their friends so they can check out the person they're with or is it a warning to other interested parties?

In the beginning, you get to witness how the couple always spends time on each others walls by writing lovey-dovey messages for all to see. Like they have no phones to either text or call up the other person, or maybe Facebook is that cheap? When you read the posts and comments between them, you wonder as to why they don't get a room?

As the relationship progresses, the lovey-dovey messages and status updates stop, to be replaced by issues and grievances going in the relationship. The couple starts talking about the other party's bad habits seeking advice from their respective friends. This as a mutual friend is when you know that things are going sour!

What I really find amusing is the end of the relationship and its aftermath. Some of them let everyone know how and why they have broken up, they go ahead to 'remove' each other from their respective friend's list and onto abusing each other on their pages and status updates.

The funny thing is, after de-friending each other, one of them will send the other a friend request which will be accepted. You'd think they're going to sort out their problems and get back together but it’s not the case! They go as far as writing about the other party's shortcomings until one of them gets fed up by the feedback from the comments and decides to take the high road by blocking the other party.

I'm not all for airing dirty laundry in public.  As someone I know asked, 'when your parents have a fight, do they go and talk about it in their local News Paper?' It gets annoying when the girls as usual, mourn about end of the relationship and start talking shit about their Ex. What's wrong in being the bigger person by keeping the negative feelings to you? Much as a lot of wrong went down, there were some bits that you loved about the person, enough to be in a relationship with them.

I find that some things are too personal to let everyone know and trashing your Ex all over a social networking site doesn't make you look good. 

xxxShanahxxx