My 2014 Highlights.

Wondering what to do with myself

“Everyday might not be good. But there is something good in every day.” - Unknown

2014 has been more than surprising. I drew more in this year alone than I ever did after University and a dream I had long stopped dreaming finally came true. On that note: it is finally time to share all that I am grateful and have been for, over the course of the year. This time round, I am not only sharing the good but some of my noteworthy thoughts and the things that made me smile. To reiterate what the above quote says; we do have a bit of good even in a bad day.

01/01/2014 – Unremarkable New Year’s eve but a surprising first of the year.
- Snake sighting had the house in an uproar.
- Glued my little finger onto a ring in an attempt to fix it.
03/01/2014 – Off for a few days to see the keeper of my secrets and Baby Jara.
07/01/2014 – Receiving medication and ointment from Baby Jara.
08/01/2014 – Returned home due to poor health. Loved the time I spent with my cousins.
12/01/2014 – When a family visit brings something you never anticipated nor expected.
- Looming interview.
14/01/2014 – Interview day. Hope it is the beginning of many.
23/01/2014 – Catch up session with my girl Emma.
- Promising news.
08/02/2014 – Artistic inspiration = happiness.
13/03/2014 – Frightful night! A visit from my girl Clare was the reward I needed.
20/03/2014 – Made my first pair of earrings.
23/03/2014 – Woke up on the right side of inspiration and made a few bracelets.
30/03/2014 – A twitter follow from someone I admire so much in the fashion industry.
31/03/2014 – March has been a good month for creative inspiration.
01/04/2014 – 419 views on beautifully fierce.
03/04/2014 – Discovered a lighter patch of skin beneath my lower lip. The beginnings of vitilago.
04/04/2014 – Had my hair weaved.
05/04/2014 – Took out my hair after a night. It looked like a red mop on my head.
06/04/2014 – Got my hair weaved again. This looks more like me.
07/04/2014 – Time I got my life in order. This isn’t the way I wish to live it.
09/04/2014 – Promises are being made and I couldn’t be more sceptical.
10/04/2014 – Discovered Simply Shanah had it’s highest views on 06/04/2014
11/04/2014 – You may not be rich enough to buy your dreams but you can be rich enough to buy the basics. – Shanah
13/04/2014 – Knowing you’re so well loved and that everyone cares.
- Anxious, excited and a little sceptical.
16/04/2014 – Turned up for my first volunteer experience EVER!
- Saw my first ever male little person and it brought a smile to my face.
- Dad’s inquisition over my whereabouts. I am the only child he counts on to be home at all hours.
17/04/2014 – Seeing a deaf couple interact is fascinating.
- Manned the front office for awhile and I loved it.
- Saw the little man once again and I smiled. At this point he probably thinks I am into him.
19/04/2014 – The most important people ask all the right questions. – Shanah
- The decision to let go of the one who made the cookie crumble.
21/-4/2014 – 208 views on Simply Shanah. Happy the blogs are getting hits.
28/04/2014 – When someone tells you how special you are then proceeds to take away the warm and fuzzy feeling in one fell swoop of nastiness and cruelty.
01/05/2014 – Birthday month and I am as sick as a dog.
10/05/2014 – Tears!
- When the one person you thought was the exception to the rule turns out to be one of them.
- A decision to not give future little Shanah siblings. She will be an only child. God willing.
15/05/2014 – Nothing beats the knowledge and feeling of knowing that someone is into you.
16/05/2014 – Design inspiration.
18/05/2014 – Tentative plans with my best friend from Primary School.
- Beginning of birthday week.
22/05/2014 – Birthday!
- Birthday song from my ride or die girl.
- Conversing with someone you know wants you is extremely awkward.
24/05/2014 – Lunch date with my bestie from Primary School. I’m glad to have maintained this friendship.



The highlights continue...

Moody December.

I may as well look good despite the crappy mood

It is December: a month for spreading good cheer, festivities and excitement because it holds the promise of the year's coming to an end. Since December begun, I couldn't be less cheerful, excited nor happy. My mood is topsy-turvy and I can't put a finger on the reasons behind it. I find myself on the brink of tears 5/10 times and I am forced to make decisions accordingly. I am a moody person, naturally, but this is getting out of hand in my opinion. I recently cancelled lunch plans with my cousins where I know I came off as rude and bad mannered. I couldn't help it. It all seemed so lengthy a process and I was less than prepared, mentally. Work is going OK. The only wrinkle in this situation is the lack of understanding from the people I work with. I work in the service industry where it is my duty to serve and as such do so with some compassion which I can't say for my workmates. They come off as rude and arrogant to the people they are supposed to serve and it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Much as majority are expatriates and not locals it doesn't mean we should treat them any less different because without them none of these people would be in the cushy positions and offices they seemingly enjoy. In regard to my mood, I can't say much. It is all over the place but what I know is I am not happy (pharrell Williams happy), no. The only thought helping me keep it together is the anticipation of taking myself to a solitary fancy lunch of either Indian cuisine or a big burger and chips meal once salary hits the bank. Nothing else. The irony of being a good listener to other people's problems and general bad mood is that when you find yourself in a similar situation, you have no one to be this for you. At the end of the day you have to be your own Dr. Phil or in my case Agony Aunt.

Why Are You Single?

The above question has been posed my way several times and more often lately. In moments of cheekiness, my usual reply is,’I don’t know why because if I were a boy, I would date me.’ I know most of you think I am single because I am a three legged hussy. It would be the first thought that comes to mind but this is not the case. Most of the boys I have dated and tried to are normal, no handicap whatsoever. This is something a man who propositioned me brought to my attention. It had never crossed my mind until he asked whether they boys I have attempted to date are handicapped or not. I have never been hit on by a handicapped person though.
I think one knows why a situation is so or at least has an inkling why at the back of their minds and I think I do. Although mostly through opinionated friends and family who are not afraid to let you know what they think. According to my family and friends these are the reasons they claim I am still single.
I chase away the boys. I had quite the laugh over this a few years back when my cousin said it. But judging from recent occurrences, it has turned out to be true. I don’t chase away the boys because I want to, no. The situation usually calls for it. Case in point; a stranger recently sent me a text on WhatsApp. I asked for the name of the person that gave him my number, he kept quiet but went as far as asking for a meet. Really? My reply to him was, ‘since you won’t tell me who gave you my number, let’s meet in our dreams.’ What makes them think they will get their way when I don’t get mine?
Time Constraints. The few boys I have attempted to date tell me how I never give them enough time and I am always busy. Contrary to that I am never as busy not until lately. The time issue is a pet peeve of mine. If we make a date at 12:00pm and you decide to show up at 2:00pm best believe I shall never make time for you unless we are in the same place at the same time. My allowance is 30 minutes. If you don’t show within that then I am sorry.
Lack of Emotions. Apparently I lack a show of emotions so much that even when I am interested in the guy and very much like him, I won’t show it. What’s there to show? I let you touch me when you are talking and I try much as I can to sit close to you? Our knees touch at some point, so what show of emotions does one want? I am not the kind of girl who will be all over a boy just because I like him. I want the knowledge to be enough. It took me forever to utter the words ‘I love you’ and this is to only friends and family.
Rude. I think I am misunderstood here. People take my bluntness and honesty for rude which is so wrong. On my off days; I don’t entertain foolishness of any sort. And since I don’t I am quite brutal in the delivery. Which puts off those that want something else from me.
Lack of seriousness. This is one of the reasons I have come to know personally. My level of seriousness depends on how serious the other person is. If you come and tell me, ‘I like you’ once and we maintain a friendship, I automatically think you mean it in a friendly way and nothing else. And with me; friends are a no go area. No way, no how! Make your intentions clear and we figure out how to proceed.
Habit. I think having the personality of a loner plus single status is a loner’s haven. 90% of the time I am by myself and quite used to keeping my own company that it has now turned into a habit. When forced to contemplate traversing the dating world and all the negatives that sometimes come with it, the thoughts enforce my being single. I try here and there but majority of it all ends up with me remaining in my comfort zone while there is a little broken heart with my name on it living the world.
On the whole though; You could say I am waiting for someone serious preferably a man. Someone who knows what he wants and goes after it. Someone who will not let me make the decisions nor be intimidated by me. Because these relationship attempts crash and burn when left to my own devices. I have been single for far too long to be left with the choice of picking a time and day for a date. I will definitely not try unless you are on my case. I have grown accustomed to my single status that digging myself out of it will be a huge deal.
Since I don't want to be the spinster aunt to my friends' kids, I am trying to take chances and figure things out as they happen.

Folly

Folly is the contemplation of being someone you are not for a person that cares naught for you.

smart are the circumstances that snatch you from folly's grasping hands and make you aware of how 

stupid you were for giving excessive thought to something you might regret in the long run.

Clarity is when the smog lifts and everything is left in glaring fact. It is in these moments where we fully know our true selves and the characters of people we choose to let into our lives.

What people don't know is: at a given moment; it is the littlest things that irrevocably change our perceptions and attitude toward the people we choose to let into our lives.

And when this happens, the smart thank their lucky stars for having escaped folly's grasping hands.

Girl Getting Her Own!

I made it through my first month of employment! Alhamdulilah! Most of you won’t get this but it is a big deal.
Huh! Where to begin? I find myself so busy that I hardly have the time to update Simply Shanah. I spend the weekends sleeping like someone suffering from sleeping sickness. Something I rarely did until now. My sleep pattern is definitely changing.
The writer in me keeps these little notes on the phone to keep track of what is going on with my life at particular moments in time but they rarely make it here. Let me just say, A LOT has happened in this one month of working.
To take it all back to the beginning; I was on the fence about working full time because of my health and all the other issues that cropped up to make it a little more difficult than I anticipated. There was a point where I felt like throwing in the towel after two days!
The day I felt like giving in, I spent it in a teary chat with one of my best friends. The old friend I talked about here. Somehow she understood me and gave me a pep talk that I believe helped me carry on. I just don’t know what was wrong with me. Even now, I can’t explain it though I have an inkling as to what brought it on.I am glad that she is in my life because if it were not for her, I wouldn’t even be writing a post about my first month. She means a lot to me and I am glad to have her back in my life.
I like what I am doing and the people I come in contact with. I have been involved in situations which I thought I would never be in and came out unaffected. I am learning how to deal with a conniving work-mate whose motives I am yet to understand and also work in an environment where I can’t call any of the people friends.
All in all this is a good thing. It took me awhile to get here and now that I am - I am happy to say I like it. Yes! I am FINALLY a girl getting her own! And that feels fantastic. ;)

Quotes

• The minute you stop looking for luck. You find it. - Susan Sarandon
• When money starts talking everybody listens. - until Forever
• Romance, education and good manners have nothing to do with age. - Por Siempre Mi Amor
• I want to see you naked covered in my kisses. - Fearless Heart
• You have to be ready to be by yourself and like being by yourself. - Susan Sarandon
• No matter how sure the monkey is; it can still be outsmarted. - Valiente
• The weakness of any woman lies in her children. - La Patrona
• Sometimes the most trustworthy people lack trust. - Boss
• You can never understand the decisions another makes unless you've walked in their shoes. - Anya Bast
• Poison is an art and the essence  of art is surprise. - Reign
• The key to a good lie lies in the details. - The Big Bang Theory
• When the company is good, time does not pass. - Destiny River
• You can't find a rose without a thorne. - Por Siempre Mi Amor
• A true love is very selfish and cannot be shared. - Fearless Heart
• Intelligent people know when to change their minds. - Amor Bravio
• Dead bodies and freeloaders start to stink after three days. - Amor Bravio

Currently obsessed with Reign. It took me awhile to understand the entire plot but I love it. It might be the only new show that I am watching.

A New Chapter.

A lot has been going on the past few weeks that I hardly had the time to sit and let it all sink in. I spent the past couple of weeks in a state of ceaseless anxiety brought about by unfulfilled goals. Luckily everything is finally sorted albeit not the way I wanted but the end result is what I wished for.
I left the volunteer position for a new job, a job I applied for on a whim. After a series of really annoying processes and an interview that felt more like an IQ test, being told I was a successful applicant took the wind out of my sails. I never expected that outcome for I’d just began to settle into my voluntary position and was at ease with everyone.
On my last day at the Organisation; I attended my first and hopefully not last workshop over there. Seeing how things were dealt with and actually participating in something of that magnitude pertaining people with disabilities was an awesome experience to say the least. It is good to know there are people out there fighting for the rights some of us knew nothing of and seeing the changes take place.

Lunch after the workshop

There were several instances where I felt like sharing my news but held back. Seeing people I’d grown used to and knowing it would be the last time I see them put a slight damper on my mood. I couldn't share the news until I had a talk with the person who asked me to join the organisation out of respect. Our schedules were so parallel that I eventually told him over the phone. All this after I’d told the person who asked me to apply for my current job and the two people I was closest to on my last day.
Yeah, the cat is out of the bag so to speak. Since it’s been a week at my new job, my feelings as regards to it are 50/50. I like what I am doing over there and with time; I guess, the challenging aspects will be dealt with. I pray all goes well and that it maybe the beginning of even better things. Ameen.