He Called Her At Midnight

"She looks so sad."

"That is one beautiful drawing, what inspired it?"

"Weren't you afraid to show such naked emotion in a design?"

These were some of the comments and questions raised by her visitors. The ones she deigned to let across the front door for she was a private person and valued her solitude. Her hand shook slightly as her index finger traced the lines of a heart-shaped face, big eyes full of incomprehensible sorrow and pink lips pursed in disdain. Save for the pink lips; black encompassed the piece and put forth the emotions that could never be hidden even after the passage of time. 

Looking at her, so dark and laden with emotions; the events leading to her  existence unfolded before her eyes. It took a great deal of effort to bring herself back from the abyss the breakup with Max had thrown her into. There had been days when her despair was too potent for her to get through, days where she turned up to work in full black because that was the only way she could explain her mood and dressing required a lot more effort than she had. Days where she would take constant bathroom breaks at work just to shed the tears in her heart. When the pain was too intense and breathing had become a chore. 

Time was indeed the healer of all wounds. To be able to look back on all that pain and feel a slight niggle of disappointment in the people they failed to be for each other attested to her emotional state. She was even crazier for entertaining the thought of seeing him again. 

“Had he changed? Would he notice the woman she had become? Had their time apart been as hard for him as it had for her at the beginning?” All these questions rotated in her mind like a spinning wheel and almost made it impossible for her to return to the task at hand. One thing was certain, Max was hurting and needed her. That is all that mattered, for now. 

Alexandra gave the piece one last glance and put it back on the mantle. Looking at her work from this vantage point gave her a level of satisfaction she could never get enough of. Art has always been there for her; even in her darkest days, she could rely on it to bring her back from the depths of despair. 

Dawn was soon breaking and she needed to put the finishing touches to the draft she was currently working on for a close friend. He had commissioned a piece from her on a whim so she wanted to knock his socks off with her artistic interpretation of his name. A smile crossed her face as she thought of him. 

Liam. He had came into her life when she least wanted to form lasting ties with anyone let alone a man yet couldn’t turn down his offer of friendship.

The Distance Between Us

To
My Former Love;

I still think that you're the one that understood me best.
I would have given you a chance a million times over, if you had shown a modicum of the interest I thought we shared. But, you never did. Neither when I asked you nor I forced your hand. You still played your cards close to your chest and I wasn't built for it. I wasn't built for uncertainty yet you thrived, no, savoured it like it was the most delicious morsel of meat you have ever tasted.
My needs and I have always played second fiddle to the needs of the people in my life and seeing myself taken as a by -the-way was something I couldn't settle for. Even though murky water runs beneath the makeshift bridge we built, it doesn't take away the handful of good memories I have left of you.
You can't deny that I tried for you. I tried a lot more than you would ever know but it wasn't enough. The deal was too raw for me to settle given the uncertainty of the terms. It was either your way or not at all.
Taking you from the person I shared every little detail of my life with, to someone I share a handful of memories with wasn't easy. You were my waking thought. The person my thoughts ran to when something happened in my life and my 3 am companion. You were a habit I nurtured with each opportunity that came my way until...
How many times did we try to mend the cracks between us? Once? Twice? Thrice? I can't even remember because there were instances where you were so callous in your treatment; instances I forgave you for because I liked you a lot, until that day.
Do you ever wonder what happened? Do you think about what you did wrong that drove me to that point? Should I tell you: now that we have a few years worth of distance between us?
To you; it was another empty promise you were making me yet it was a little bubble of hope for us on my side. You gave me the teenage experience I never had by making me wait for a call that never came through. Given our history; that wasn't unexpected but the bitter taste the experience left in my mouth was something I didn't relish. That day made the decision for me.
I had made a lot of moves for you, given you a lot more chances than I have ever given anyone in my life, watched from the side-lines as you publicly mocked every little thing that I did for you. It was enough. I couldn't give anymore. I had nothing left. You took it all. Even the fight I should have had on reserve for your successors.
Am I angry? No. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't know what to look for in anyone I might consider sharing my life with. You are the other yardstick on which I measure their worth as men especially when it comes to their treatment towards me.
It took me years to give others chances. Unfortunately or fortunately, the first person I gave a chance to failed miserably. He said all the pretty and flowery words that I longed to hear from you and I was sold. No. You know I do I do not fall that easily. I thought the years and affection between this person and I would provide the firm foundation for this stage in our lives only to be disappointed. Like you, he failed to live up to his words.
Do you remember that girl? The one that fought for you? She couldn't garner the energy to fight for him once he started being indifferent towards her. That girl just unfriended him so he could do it better from a far. Fighting never even crossed my mind yet it was an uncontrollable urge for your case. Mend it! Fix it! Give it one more try! I was always bridging the distance between us that to this day - I do not have the energy it takes to fight for or chase after a guy, however much I presume to like him.
My life is a revolving door of comings and goings. I should be used to it but I am not. Seeing your successor go hurt a lot because I thought we had a good friendship. The years alone should have been enough to intercede and stop this outcome...
I have never regretted you. I still do not regret you. You meant much more than you knew at that point in my life. What I regret are the feelings you evoked in me. They were too intense to handle. Feeling that way taught me that I never want to be that vulnerable towards another human being and I still don't.
Twice this year; I have been asked on two separate occasions if I would consider us being friends? I loved our friendship. You understood me better than anyone I had encountered in my life. I would have considered it if it was at your instigation and not hearsay. They do not know how dark the murky water that runs beneath our makeshift bridge is and that there's a lot more to it than the distance between us.

Yours,
In love and thoughts,
Shanah

He Called Her At Midnight

There it was. The invite. A chance to step into his world again. She had kept it at the back of her mind that they would cross paths, but, never thought of the manner in which it would happen. Not this way, anyway.

Alexandra took stock of her surroundings with a cursory glance at the design she was currently working on. She had done good by herself. It had been hard, but, in the five years of their separation; she had chased the career she'd desired and went on to become the most sought after graphic design artists in New York. Everything around her gave her a sense of pride and fulfilment she'd never expected to have without him by her side. It meant that much more that she had succeeded on her own.

"Alexandra?" are you still there?"

Max's voice brought her back from her little reverie. He needed an answer and she needed to see him again, if only to see how he was holding up.

"Yes. I can come over, just not tonight. I'm under a tight deadline and I can't interrupt the creative process at this moment. Can you give me two days from now?", she asked?

"It'd mean a lot to me if you could make it tonight, please. Think about it."

With that entreaty, Max hang up.

Alexandra listened to the incessant beep of the dial tone for awhile longer before she finally took the phone from her ear and looked at it in disbelief. It was so like Max to ask for something monumental and act like it wasn't a big deal. If he could be so nonchalant about it, so could she.

After hanging up, she made her way to the mantle holding all the accolades she had received in the five years. Fine things. Appreciation for jobs well done and trophies from the Women's entrepreneurial groups on which she was a Board member. Encompassing all the trophies was the wall on which hang a few pictorial prints of her work. She unerringly reached for the largest print on the wall and took it back with her to the work table.

"Beautyin Ugly". The one design that held more of a personal meaning to her than the rest of her designs. Its title and frame held secrets only she was aware of and never shared with anyone. Beauty in Ugly was a result of an onslaught of despondency and despair, on a night she never thought she'd be able to get through without him. The fateful day she broke up with Max, she had acted so cool and stoic in his presence yet her heart was breaking into pieces. Her staidness only got her far enough from his presence before the shattered pieces of her heart pricked through the facade.

He Called Her At Midnight

"Alexandra. I hope I didn't wake you", he said.
"No. I am up finalizing a design."
She heard him draw a deep albeit shaky breath. Like he was mentally bracing himself for what he was about to say. Hearing him do so put her on edge. The call itself had thrown her mind and emotions off kilter. To hear him do so before revealing his reasons for the late night phone call didn't bode well.
"Max... What's wrong?"
"Alexandra... She... I need you..."
Max was never a stutterer. If anything; he was the one person you could rest assured would find the right words, no matter the situation. His incoherent reply meant the situation was a lot worse than she could imagine.
"What is it?", she asked. "Tell it to me at once because you're scaring me."
With that; her thoughts raced over every possible situation that could get him to act this way. Try as she may; she couldn't find a plausible reason that would explain his current behavior. She was about to prod him for an explanation when his hushed words cut off her thoughts.
"Tessa died." He whispered over the phone. "She must have slipped out of the apartment while I was in the shower."
His change in tone denoted the gravity of the situation. A situation, it seemed, he couldn't bring himself to accept. Every word out of him came in slow, shaky tones that brooked no interruption.
Tears rushed to her eyes as she tried to stifle a sob while listening to the gory details. Marc- his next door neighbour, had found the little dog whimpering and covered in blood on the way back from his late night jog. He'd immediately scooped it up and rushed to Max's apartment after recognising her spotted tail.
Alexandra could only imagine what this loss would do to him. Tessa was his world. The last tangible link to a past he refused to let go of. The one thing he swore was the only good thing out of it. Knowing how much Tessa meant to him made her glad for the fact that they were able to share her last moments together - in the safe haven of his arms where she had known so much love and comfort.

He Called Her At Midnight

He called her at midnight. She was so startled by the sound of her ringtone she could barely think beyond seeing his name flash across her phone screen. In that moment; she tried to recall the last time she'd talked to him and realized she could no longer place the sound of his voice. No matter how she tried, the voice she'd loved so much had faded from memory. With a furstrated sigh, she gave up and concentrated on the call.
Why was he calling now? Why today of all days?
It was almost five years to the day they said their final goodbye. The day she had looked into his vacant eyes and whispered 'goodbye' to him. Burying the love they shared along with it. That day was quite unforgetable that thinking about it now brought a slight chill to her arms. The air had been so frigid she had felt the chill down to her bones. Like God was freezing every fibre of her love for him in time, in a place she could no longer visit because of the memories.
Over the years; the chill had thawed to be replaced by a warmth she was beginning to revel in. Until his name flashed across her phone screen. She knew she couldn't let it ring intermittently, because when the love of your life calls, the call never goes unanswered. Alexandra took two deep breaths to still her racing thoughts and picked up the phone. "Hello? Alexandra, are you there?"
Every little scenario Alexandra had conjured up in the past five years couldnot prepare her for this moment. She had dreaded it ever since their goodbye. And now; it was finally upon her. The moment she would say 'hello' to him again. All the little scenarios and mental peptalks disappeared like ash beneath a strong wind, as memories of their time together chased each other across her mind, in preparation for the words that would let him back into her life.
"Hello."