Plus One

It has been a year since I composed this  under the influence of a sugar high and poor health. I was so chafed to see it in today's Facebook memories because I have been anxiously anticipating its revival, in a good way.

I still want to be someone's pain in the ass but maybe not exactly at this point in time. A later date or year or months when I am emotionally and mentally in a good place... possibly.

At this point in time:
I'd love nothing better than to be someone's plus one,
I want to be pampered,
I want to be cosseted,
I want to be a sugar-babe :(
I really miss the 3 am texting,
The ordained time for a soul-soul connection,
When insomnia was more of a friend than enemy,
I want to be someone's pain in the ass,
In the name of love!

Shanah

Your Face On Mine

No.
I don't know how to kiss.
But, I do know,
I want to feel your face on mine.
To look into your deep-set eyes,
Until all I see is my reflection.
Rub the tip of my nose with yours,
And prolong the anticipation.
To feel you draw breath,
As you prepare to drink in my taste.
Watch my hands,
As they wind themselves around your neck.
Pulling you closer,
Into our embrace.
While we slowly kindle,
The fire that sizzles between us.

No.
I don't know how to kiss.
But, I do know,
I want to feel your face on mine.

xShanahx

Birthday Blues

Last month was my birthday and this time round it didn't go without a bit of pomp and circumstance. I was imbued with poor health throughout the month that the excitement was at an all time low. But alas; I managed to celebrate it poor health and all.
For the first time in my life, I had the birthday blues. My heart ground to a stop and started to beat faster as I thought over my lack of accomplishments. To date, the only expensive things I hold are my life and education.
I was in such a panic! I felt this past birthday marked the beginning of the end for my life. The proverbial clock (not maternal) had literally started ticking. As much as I would love to go out and conquer the world to my satisfaction; there is so much one person can do and I can't do it all.
It is there and then that I decided to be good and do good. If my good deeds before weren't enough the ones henceforth would hold water as I prepare for my end whenever it may come. The saddest thing in my books would be leaving this world without the gift of a little human for people to remember me by.

One Day

I'd like for one day,
On a bright sunny afternoon,
To sit on a park bench
Side-to-side with the one  I love.
Listening to the sound of birds,
As they flit past.

On that one day,
I'd love nothing more than,
To feel the love between us,
Basking in the solitude
Of our silence.

Shanah

The Law Of Attraction.

I have been having many of those nights where sleep eludes you and you just end up lying in bed thinking about your life. On one of those unfortunate or fortunate nights, I reflected on my life; where it was headed, what I had so far achieved and would like to achieve. I thought more on what it is I want to happen in my life and the methods of which I was to make this a reality.

Extra thoughts on the methods of achievement brought to mind "The Law Of Attraction" from the famous book "The Secret" written by Rhonda Byrne. According to the book, "The Law Of Attraction" is obedient to our thoughts and that the universe gives us what we want or think of the most; be it positive or negative.  Of course these are neither the exact words nor phrasing but that is the message the book puts across.

Think about what you really want the most, believe that it can happen and visualize…then it will happen. Do not concentrate on what you don't want to happen because that is what the universe will give you. The book states we spend so much time and thought on negativity; thinking of what we don't want to happen which of course ends up happening because of what we put out in terms of thought.

So, I would like a lot of good things to happen for me in my life especially a strengthening in my faith. I feel that I am slowly falling off the straight and narrow which is not good. Much as I try, I just cannot get to my desired level of spiritual fulfillment. I don't know if you all go through this because I am and I don't know what to do. It is due to this and a host of other things that I would like to happen that I have made the decision to try out "The Law Of Attraction". I have also been playing with the idea of creating a vision board to help me visualize but I won't. My family will be too inquisitive which I hate. I hate having to explain myself. For now, a list of what I would like to happen will suffice.

One of my best friends told me it works and I believe her. On that note, y'all try it and experience it for yourselves.

Ps: For those that haven't read the book yet please do. It gives a totally new aspect on life and our thoughts. "We are what we think we are."

Anxiety.

So many ideas swirling in my head. It makes me a little anxious about making them happen because; if I take the plunge, I'd like for it to be a success. I am so confused about them and it is hard to decide on which idea to settle on because they are both viable from my point of view and great. Huh! I hope I can come to a decision soon and that it is the right decision. Hopefully, when I do,  I am able to see which ever I decide on to completion and fruition. And that Allah is on my side.

Aside from that, one of my brothers' old friend  just returned for a visit after years away. Hearing about him makes me a little excited and anxious at the same time. I don't understand why I feel this way but it is what it is.

He is one of those guys you would look at and smile back then (don't really know how he looks like now). What I know is back then, I used to look at him and tell myself that I could have a crush on him if I wanted! Like we can decide on who to crush on but then again, we can after all we can decide on who to love!

Website Take 2!

I hit a snug in the building process when it came to getting it hosted and tested. I found out that getting a website hosted here is quiet expensive especially the monthly charges. I put hosting it on the back burner while I looked around for other avenues like getting free hosts for a year, but that would have meant me having to change the domain name and of course hosting websites which would not be cool. I let the idea rest for quite a few months….
I got the absolutely best news today! It inspired the artist in me! So, I had a talk with a family friend. He asked what my plans were since I am done with school and studied Information technology. The talk touched on my idea of having a website and how I had to let go of the idea for a while because hosting fees were steep.
Apparently, internet business is the way to go in this age (I knew that) and he liked my idea of building a personal website. He had a lot of suggestions to make and ideas to give that I was so inspired. He said I could make the website then get it hosted abroad because their hosting fees are so little or at least pocket friendly…How cool is that? That never occurred to me at all.
Thinking about it makes me more excited with the idea and all the pros that come with getting it hosted somewhere else and not in my home country. The internet connection here is so poor yet we are charged an arm and a leg for poor service. The people are shamelessly brave when it comes to delivering poor services to paying customers. All they care about is their bottom line and not your professionalism.
The more I think about it the more convinced I get. So… now, I am going back to the drawing board and re-start on the whole design and layout. I want my website to bring in lots of traffic so I can reap off the time and investment I will put into it. I would like it to be more professional and interesting. I have to have kick ass content because I would like it to be Fabulous and Fun like its creator!
Wish me luck y'all. I hope to get it hosted and share it with you. Fingers crossed.