New Year...

Glossy filter on the left and without on the right.

This is not a trite and cliched new year post inasmuch as it bears the words. It is about the time I suffered an acute bout of FOMO (fear of missing out) over the influx of Christmas cards on social media during the festive season.

The beauty, creativity and thoughts put into releasing the final product in true spirit of the season not only lifted my mood but had me reaching for the pencil a couple of times. It is that unabated excitement and flow of creative juices that heralded the decision to come up with something personal for New Year's. 

It took me 3 days to settle on the lettering and another 2 for color. After the pencil sketch was done, the finishing touches were more or less a walkover!

Coming a cross filter that gave it the glossy and sparkly finish was quite the feather in my cap! It brought my vision to light and got me so excited that waiting for the remaining days and five minutes after midnight on the 31st almost dampened my mood.

The feedback after the reveal was insane! Thinking about it, right now, warms my heart! 

A fortnight into 2017 and there's nothing much I can say except Alhamdulilah. For the gift of life, for the new dreams we get to dream after fulfilling old ones and the opportunities that drive us to discover our potential and become the people we desire to be.

Life may not be perfect right now; but it is absolutely alright!

The Tincture of Time

This time last year was the hardest part of 2015 for me and it is no wonder  why I was neither looking forward to my Facebook memories nor going through them. So much pain, emotional upheaval and an insurmountable darkness that I did not know how to deal without letting go.

I had to let go of everything that holds me together to deal with depression - to accept in order to feel and get better without getting medical help. One good day; I took out one of my works in progress with the hope that it will help my mood only for my mood to extend itself to the piece. A piece that brought about this post.

It's been a year since Beauty In Ugly. I couldn't read the piece and look at the drawing without tears rushing to my eyes. The memories stung, so did the evidence of my despair. Even writing this is giving me a heavy heart at the moment albeit a little more painless. 

What a difference time makes given the chance? As much as I am reminded of everything I went through this time of year; I am in a somewhat good place. Getting through the day is no longer a struggle. I no longer have  inexplicable crying bouts and  the heavy baggage I used to carry on my heart is lighter. The best thing about it all is; the wish that used to get me through the remaining days and months is hardly a chant anymore neither is it a hangar for all the positivity I needed.

Time takes it all away given the opportunity. Let yourself go through the motions: mentally and emotionally  with its guiding touch. It will take you where you wish to be regardless of the duration. 

Little Surprises

"I didn't set goals this year."

Lately, that is the thought that runs through my mind at every bad turn. Nothing seems to be going according to a nonexistent plan and it hurts a little. I feel like I am where I was not so many years ago. However, those little shadows of failure cannot take away my smile from some of the surprising successes of the past few months.

My writing has been quite sporadic as evident and inasmuch as I am unable to string two coherent sentences together in an abandoned journal, the words are starting to return. Little by little; I am returning to the person that used to write short little notes on her phone and twitter. If there is one thing I do not want to lose along with my knack for drawing is the ability to write. Writing has and will always be my tried and tested form of therapy no matter the situation.

I had one interview and a half if I can call it that. My very first interview of the year was with a boss chick who is basically doing what I want to do. I'm not sure if she felt my admiration during the process but she made quite the impression on me. I remember telling my brother about it later and he saying, 'I hope you didn't show her you wanted her job.' That's how much I was impressed. I didn't get the position but cutting it to the interview stage was  motivating. As for the second one; I was invited but never made it. The last time I ever did anything in the grip of intense pain was my final year exams at university. I sat them sick as a dog and I promised myself never to do so for anything not even this interview that found me in said condition.

As the year progressed, I made two promises to myself: not to give out my number to guys and not write any of their names and feelings or thoughts evoked in my journal. I bombed on the first promise and upheld the second. In a year where it was mentally a 'no boys allowed' zone, there came along two people of which I found the second intriguing. Kind of like that person your sub-conscience randomly wonders what makes them tick then let the thought go until God or life drops them in your lap and the more you get to know them the curiouser and curiouser you become!

Still on the breaking of the 'no boys allowed' zone. I went on an indescribable thing. I am not sure if it was a date or a drive-by or whatever they call it nowadays with a guy who I found in the company of his friends! Those were the most awkward 30 minutes of my life and an experience I would care less to repeat. I had no idea boys do such things. He should have told me to bring my friends too.

There have been a few uncharacteristically crazy happenings which I hope not to repeat in the next couple of months and years. I want them to end with just one person for the rest of my life regardless of the stay in each other's lives. My inner crazy came out, played and called it. That's it.

The best part of it all are the boundless moments of inspiration. I may not have shared much on Simply Shanah but my drawing is the constant positive right now and I love it. I have been able to draw a couple of drawings using my favourite medium while trying my hand albeit unsuccessfully at color and painting. Those two mediums are not my forte and I even wonder why I bother!

I am such a pessimist. I believe in promises when they come true however life from this point of view doesn't look so bad. It reminds me of why I started a gratitude journal-to concentrate on the positive instead of dwelling on the negative like I usually do. Maybe I should make more of an effort until I find my rhythm. I may not be fully solid emotions wise but it is enough. 

A Little Sun

There are times when I visit old posts of Simply Shanah in search of inspiration only to log out immediately for the urge to delete some of last year's posts is so strong. There was nothing good there. Going back and looking through them is like trying to find the remnants of a kindling in a pile of ashes: a little smoking ember to singe ones fingers. However fruitless my attempts are in finding inspiration from the depths of my pitfalls and the decision to let it all remain, I have realized some of my angst ridden and painfull posts are being shared. It is kind of mortifying but I am happy some of you relate with the posts and go as far as sharing. Thank you.
I put away the journal in order to revitalize my thoughts, sense of purpose all for naught. Nothing has worked so far. You, know what? I am not going to try anymore. To force myself to look for what is good in a situation however bad is no longer cutting it.
My mental state is a depiction of my life right now. Everything is in shambles. As much as I am incapable of having a handle on everything else currently going on, I am glad for my artistic side. I find myself drawing more and more when the mood strikes and the accessories creator in me is starting to join the creative party. It has been awhile since I created something in the way of accessories.
My last piece was a pearl necklace which I spot majority of the time and the need to create earrings to go with it is so strong. Maybe when the time is right. It will happen.

Seeing it is a new month; may we all let what was stay in the past and write new chapters to the books of our lives- even if it means forever starting over in your journal like I am currently doing.

All I Wanted.

Deep in the night, we all have those thoughts and words that come to us. I think that is why most writers recommend sleeping with a notebook and pen besides you. To write down your thoughts, feelings and sometimes a thread to a dream you would like to explore.

I have several of these and only started writing them last year albeit in my journal and oftentimes on my phone where I would forget all about them until a certain time necessitating a phone check up arises.

This was my first one and for this year, I asked myself, 'why not?' Why not share them on my blog instead of keeping them on my phone? Since I draw and love to play around with words and filters, I did the combination of both and voila!

Happy!

I've written a few posts on my mental space that ended up being lost in transit. I literally have no idea as to where they went on publication because they certainly didn't make it on the blog.

Due to those circumstances, I find myself lost for words. I can't express myself anymore than I should hence the decision to share a drawing from the pages of my journal.

I drew it to help me get back into the swing of things- creatively and on the spur of the moment I added what are probably my resolutions for this year, God Willing.

I may not know a lot at the moment but what I do know deep down is I want to be happy this year.

Anyway, happy new year and may God give us all the courage and strength to see our resolutions to fruition. Ameen.

MY 2015

The year is a stone’s throwaway from coming to an end and I couldn’t be anymore glad to see it go. 2015 has been exceptionally hard in ways I never ever thought would be so much so that concentrating on the good in each day was a chore as the passed by.
Along the way; I made a lot of decisions that so far are turning out for the better. I hope they hold for times to come. Regardless of my mood and emotional chaos, there were a few smile inducing moments in my darkest of days even if I had to edit this compilation several times!
01/01/2015 – New year, new beginnings
02/01/2015 – Jewellery design
07/01/2015 – Some people come into our lives to loosen up buttons we never thought of loosening in the first place.
- Sad is leaving soon
- Sometimes, it is better to be honest with a person and let the decision to stay remain in their hands.
08/01/2015 – Visit from  my girl Stella
12/01/2015 – Sad is counting days
14/01/2015 - Seeing the one to whom I am best niece and my little darling in her last stages of pregnancy
- Pre- birthday celebration for my Nyabo
16/01/2015 – Sad’s leaving for his homeland. I’m going to miss the big guy!
18/01/2015 – Knowing Sad might have his old job back is the best news ever
23/01/2015 – Sue’s graduation and I have never been so exhausted in my life!
24/01/2015 – Another drawing added onto my Heart series
26/01/2015 – Re-connecting with old friends
28/01/2015 – Catch up with Baby J and the boy talk was insightful
1/02/2015 – I love being in control but letting go has improved my disposition in this case
5/02/2015 – First poem from a boy!
- The reassurances from friends Shakira, Allen and Robert made me feel a whole lot better about work
06/02/2015 – My Nyabo saying I am a good writer
07/02/2015 – Treated myself to a fancy lunch after so many months!
08/02/2015 – Poem “we don’t always get what we wish for.”
10/02/2015 – When you least expect it; God brings you a ray of hope.
13/02/2015 - Surprise visit to my baby. So happy to see her in her last days of pregnancy.
14/02/2015 - “Tired” poem
18/02/2015 – To have someone whose written word leaves you in awe call you talented is an honour. I am humbled to know strangers find my writing good.
- A surprisingly good day. Alhamdulilah
21/02/2015 – Indecision is a decision. Let nobody tell you differently
22/02/2015 – I don’t know how Ntinda will work out but it was good to me the first time. Hopefully, it is where I am meant to be for now.
23/02/2015 - “Self preservation” poem
25/02/2015 – Got my letter of appointment for voluntary work
- Anila Naby’s birth
26/02/2015 - With change comes clarity. A clearer picture of who you want to become and the paths we must take to get there.
27/02/2015 – Catch up session with my girl Emma on the last day of gainful employment! I am looking forward to no work Saturdays
02/03/2015 - Some memories you just don’t need.
04/03/2015 – First day of voluntary work and I like it
- “The Moon” poem
06/03/2015 - Patience is a virtue for the virtuous.
11/03/2015 – The feedback on the poem “woke up to your birthday reminder” is heart-warming.
12/03/2015 – Fruitful day at work. Alhamdulilah
14/03/2015 – Added two new drawings to my Heart series and coloured one.
15/03/2015 - Art is an expression of my thoughts and life at that particular moment.
17/03/2015 – My Art portfolio consists of 20 pieces so far
18/03/2015 – Chat with my Supervisor gave me a little hope as regards the direction I want to take my career
- Some people don’t like being met at their level. so you take them to yours.
19/03/2015 – Another fruitful day at work! I’m glad for the chance to impart skills I usually take for granted
- Our thoughts are words waiting to be written.
20/03/2015 – Visit to see my baby’s baby
21/03/2015 – A reply tweet from The Single Woman
- “It doesn’t matter” poem
22/03/2015 – I pray God gives me the courage to pursue my dreams
23/03/2015 – Spent the day with my baby and her baby. I am proud of Baby J and her accomplishment. She is where I would like to be financially
25/03/2015 – The fact that people find me inspiring is an amusement in itself!
26/03/2015 – A new drawing. I can never tire of the creation process especially when a merger of two designs is involved. It leaves me awestruck
- Being asked to write for someone whose work leaves you breathless! Jon Storm!
27/03/2015 – Worked on my third coloured piece and love how it looks
28/03/2015 – Waking up to Jon’s feedback is indescribable!
- Colouring art pieces wouldn’t be possible without Ama’ help
30/03/2015 – Seeing Patience again and having the opportunity to work with her is a pleasure
31/03/2015 - Sometimes, the battle lines need to be drawn for you to know where you stand.
2/04/2015 – Sad never fails in his attempts to cheer me up
- Having a heart to heart with Clare made my heart a little lighter
05/04/2015 – The feeling of success is sweet!
- Five drawings coloured so far
09/04/2015 – Fruitful day at work! The mini-workshop was not only educational but insightful as well
12/04/2015 – Spent the weekend working on my choker necklace and the reality finally met my vision
14/04/2015 – First read into Manuscript Found in Accra
27/04/2015 – A chat with my ride or die girl is always what I need
03/05/2015 - “Imperfect hearts” poem
07/05/2015 – De Ja Vu moments due to work make me feel like I am walking in familiar footsteps
05/14/2015 – Trip to Gomba
- Creative firsts at work make me think I was meant to be in publishing
19/05/2015 – Fantastic feedback over my creative efforts especially the newsletter
22/05/2015 – Birthday!
25/05/2015 – Shakira always pops up when I need her most
26/05/2015 – Wonderful feedback about Simply Shanah
02/06/2015 – Gainful employment gives me a sense of fulfilment I am beginning to love. Alhamdulilah for the abundant opportunities.

Beauty In Ugly

I love saying that I never have thoughts during the creation process and for that matter cannot honestly tell anyone what inspired a piece. There is usually nothing to tell because most of my pieces never ever have back stories. They are simply the results of an imaginative mind.
However, this particular piece has a story. A story I didn’t want to share until a friend of mine asked when my next blog post would be. His question made me reflect on the draft hence the decision to share. To show that sometimes; it is OK to fall apart. To feel like the loneliest soul in the world without anyone to see you through except yourself. So, here goes nothing.
Her misfortune was being worked on during the most tumultuous weeks of my life! A week in which I was dealing with the intense pain of a sprained shoulder, a week where my emotions were in an upheaval, a week where I wished for my brother’s presence like I have never done in my life and intermittently wept like a bereaved person with wracking sobs to match.
On that fateful day; I took her out of the work-in-progress pile and went to work. Black was the color of choice given the situation and mind frame. I filled up the white space taking care not to mar her looks and the design which made her unique.

All she could do was purse her pink lips and take what I had to offer-pain, sorrow and emotional chaos. She was left without choice for she couldn’t talk back. She knew her creator needed to try and keep it together and this was the only way she knew how. After my emotions were spent, I put her away. To be worked on another day; when the mood struck.
Luckily for her, I took her out for inspection, in a better frame of mind no less. I looked at her with a critical eye trying to find the imperfections and irreparable damage my chaotic emotions had wrought. But most of all; it was to check how black suited her because no color does justice to feelings and thoughts like black.

I looked at her through the lens of a camera and seeing her stare at me with her pursed pink lips nudged my heart a little. I felt guilty for making her bear the brunt of my emotions yet she wasn’t the cause of it. Why continue to drown her in my sorrow? Thus, I gave her color. I wholeheartedly tried to bring her to life the way she was originally meant to by putting an effort into making her pretty. In an attempt to make up for the marks of sorrow she could not hide.
However, even in color: she smacks of so much pain and sorrow. The sorrow in her eyes alone is incomparable to the darknss in the lines on her face. In her lies the proof of her creator's hardest lesson in life - a lesson she failed at miserably. And for that; she will forever be the reminder of that lesson and the memories that come with it.

Pinspiration

I took a break from my heart series when the idea to explore something new was just a little seedling at the back of my mind.

With the idea, came Lady Luck filled with loads of inspiration. I must say; I hate it when inspiration strikes while I am doing that which pays the bills because it makes it hard to give it the concentration it deserves, and I am usually without pencil and paper.

It's been quite the lazy week at work so when inspiration struck, I took pen to notebook and doodled my thought. It has been years since I doodled. I even thought I didn't have it in me but it is still there. The last doodle I made never translated well into a drawing which I guess, put a stop to my doodling.

Doodling is a fun little way to see how the design will look on a small scale without having to whip out the A4 and sketchbooks. 

My first doodle in several years had quite the reception on Instagram and led me to believe it will transition well on paper complete with details.

The design however, is much more different from the doodle, if I am to be honest. It is so rough in my opinion and something that can easily turn into a work-in-progress for an entire year or two. I'm not writing it off yet just not anxious enough to see it complete at the moment.

When lady inspiration strikes, she is usually with me for a week. This is why I tend to have a succession of back to back designs. This time was no different. I was of the mind to take my art supplies with me to work then eschewed the thought. I thought it fanciful and over expectant of me. You cannot recreate magic twice in a row. Well, I stand corrected. When inspiration struck again, instead of making a little doodle, I gave the actual design a go and voilà. Magic. 

 

Doing an actual design complete with details at work would be grounds for dismissal. I'm glad I didn't get caught. This drawing inspired a different design that I am absolutely in love with. Working on it has brought me so much awe because of the evolution. The evolution of a design remains the most breathtaking experience of my life!

After completion of the outline, I spent the next day scouring Pinterest for pattern inspiration ideas. The talent on Pinterest is immense! The time I spent left me inspired and I now want to start maintaining an art journal. Kudos to the person that invented Pinterest and the people who share their ideas and designs. 

Much as it was overwhelming looking at the scores of ideas, my sojourn over there was successful. I found a pattern (though no less different from what I am usually drawn to) that would fit my vision and the results are amazing!

I am proud of my talent. Being an artist on my off days is the best thing that could happen. And when a design leaves me awestruck, I send a little prayer of thanks to the Almighty. Art is who I am. 

A Colourful Exploration.

I finally took the plunge and started experimenting with color in my drawings. You can not imagine how tedious the process was first time round. The time taken to settle on the colors to use; what to put it and the eternal question, ‘aren’t I messing it up?’ plagued my mind like no man’s business.
Drawing to me is a natural process, one that looks infinitely better in black and white in my mind. The idea of putting all that I draw in color was just a smidgen of thought at the back of my mind. A thought I never let fester at all because I draw for myself. Sharing on social media and some few friends has made me reconsider because not all of us see black and white and neither do we prefer the stark beauty of it when we can have it in color. With all that in mind; I decided to give it a go.
In all honesty; the exploration is not easy! It is easier for me to come up with a new design rather than dilly-dally over color choices and the indecision it brings. I hate indecisiveness in people and this makes it much more worse as I am forced to be. If I were a painter, it would be so easy. I personally think their mental concepts are completely in color before the final piece. By the time they translate it to paper, they know what colors would be best and know how to execute it all.
I have, so far, colored three of my many drawings and at the end of they day, I look at them with a dubious eye. This is how unsure I am. However unsure and doubtful I am over the process, I am giving it a chance. The chance to see what others see in color.

My First Love.

Art is my passion, my first love and most of all the definition of who I am. - Shanah

The two top pieces from the left are more recent than the rest. Some of these are finished

Writing is and has never been my first love nor passion. No. I write because it is the only way I get over feelings of hurt, anguish and most of all incessant thoughts on a particular subject. What I think of myself in those dark solitary moments of creation and drawing is ‘artist’ not writer. I love to design and to draw. It is my first love and will always be. It is the one thing that I have a knack and desire for.
When I talked about it here; I never went into the details. I have drawn since I was a young girl – pre-teens. I used to draw on and off school holidays and breaks. I even remember my first pieces as a young girl. Drawing is something that comes naturally to me, as easy as breathing when the details aren’t so intricate. There are days where I sleep the next morning because I spent the night working on a piece. Days where I unplug; switch off the phone, get off social media and mute the television while I get lost in the moment. In the beauty of the process of creation. Those are the days I live for sometimes. The days when artistic inspiration is on a high and I lose everything to my imagination and the pencil executing the mental concept on paper, are the most exciting days of my life.
I draw a little more often lately and what never ceases to take my breath away is the evolution of a design. There is a whole lot to marvel at during the execution of a mental image and what eventually ends on paper. The mental vision is always different from the final design.This is why it is so hard to put into words the thoughts that brought on a particular piece and the source of inspiration. Thoughts are usually parallel to the actual design. To be honest; when I am drawing nothing is going on in my mind. I’m more still and at peace during those moments- I compare it to meditation and those peaceful moments you find yourself in during prayer.
Much as I am more open with my writing and don’t mind sharing, I am much more sensitive when it comes to my drawing. I never used to let anyone look at my pieces in my youth and still don’t. The only person who used to see the process from start to finish is my brother. No one else. I do share some on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook but it makes me feel like I am standing in the nude for the whole world to see and criticize. And it freaks me out. But I am trying to be a little more open.
Art is the only thing that makes me feel as agitated as a drug addict in withdrawal due to the lack of creative release. Last year, I was forced into buying art supplies for my former place of my employment because I needed that relief. It was the only thing I could think about the entire week. I would surely be lost if I couldn’t draw unlike writing although I need it too to stay sane.
Art is my passion, my first love and most of all the definition of who I am. Everything else comes second to it.

A Gradual Resolution.

It’s a New Year, New Beginnings and all that fan fare people associate with a new year. And I couldn’t be any more less excited. Why? Because I miss the two weeks I had off work. I was just starting to relax, enjoy being home and before I knew it; the fortnight was done. And my brother is leaving me sooner than I thought which makes it suck more!
However short it turned out to be; I enjoyed it immensely. I got the chance  to take naps and remembered how waking up from one felt like – refreshing. I think the lack of taking one at work is what drains me most. I should look into getting alone time over there.

My Creations

The creative juices flowed like never before and I made two necklaces which I loved. Not forgetting the one I edited. Drawing, making something and reading are my most treasured moments of free time. They symbolize peace, rest and I get as much out of them as a Zen master would out of meditation.
So it’s the new year. Hmm… I try not to have resolutions because no one ever goes through with them anyway but this time round, I am forced to have one. Yes. I realized last year that I have massive anger issues and might need anger management lessons at some point in my life. I’m pretty much a laid-back girl: the kind that is not fazed by anything for I take people at face value, I rarely let little things get to me so it takes forever for me to become enraged.
Well, I suffered my most enraging moment last year! The kind of rage that is only spent by breaking several things. And I broke some. The sound of shattering glass and ceramic definitely does something for the mind. There is that sense of fulfilment and calmness that overcomes the body after expending those emotions. Last time I felt this enraged was in High School and even then I broke a little something. What’s not cool though is; the muscle pain garnered from the energy and force put behind breaking stuff. I went around with a sore shoulder for two weeks.
Seeing as I can’t go round breaking things; the need to work on my anger is real and as such I am going to try as much as I possibly can. This will, however, be a gradual process. Those of us who take forever to combust take twice the time to work on it. So, wish me luck.
And with that; may you all be able to go through with your resolutions. Happy New Year.

My 2014 Highlights – A continuation.

From L-R: Eid, manning front office, workshop lunch, lunch with Joy and Birthday Surprise

31/05/2014 – Surprise birthday celebration at home with two of my best friends, Clare & Malcolm. I looked like a hot mess while they were all spiffy. 
04/06/2014 – God will surely punish me for the lies I tell about being married to guys I don’t want to encourage.
- Meeting Mark put a whole different spin on disability awareness.
05/06/2014 – Helped a blind man edit his work. I’m glad we had a chat about what I’d really love to do and where my interests lay.
11/06/2014 – Sad’s birthday.
- Movie plans involving boys never materialise. I should stop making them.
- 30 day blogging challenge, can I hack such an undertaking?
15/06/2014 – Spending time with the keeper of my secrets. I love her.
16/06/2014 – I hate to see her sad; I hope she mends fences with her mum and not let the boy rule her life.
21/06/2014 – One of those days where I wish other people’s good fortune would rub off on me. It is hard being your own hero when you hardly know where to start.
08/07/2014 – 135 views on Simply Shanah.
14/07/2014 – The prospect of seeing an old friend and catching up.
- That sense of accomplishment you feel after finishing the set tasks of the day.
15/07/2014 – Finally finished my braided necklace and thanked God for my creative skills.
16/07/2014 – The compliments on the necklace are overwhelming and heart warming.
24/07/2014 – Unexpected opportunity at work. May it happen as God intended.
- Visit from my girl Belle.
28/07/2014 – Eid. Having one of my oldest friends spend it with me makes it more special.
29/07/2014 – 6 AM inspiration. Another design to add onto my ‘heart’ series.
- An SMS in lieu of the dreaded phone call. Pending interview.
30/07/2014 – Job interview! I’m glad it went better than expected.
- 22OOHRS inspiration visit and going with it.
31/07/2014 – Lunch with OR. It had been long overdue.
03/08/2014 – I feel like I am on the cusp of a yet-to-be written chapter in my life.
06/08/2014 – Utterly frustrating day but a bad beginning made for a good ending.
- My mum and Sad’s excitement on my behalf. It is all so hard to take in.
08/08/2014 – Another design to add onto my ‘heart’ series.
15/08/2014 – Seeing my aunt Asia made me miss seeing her and my ride or die girl on the regular.
17/08/2014 – Check up from the one who started this work journey in my life and his kind wishes made me so happy. I hope it all goes well.
22/08/2014 – Treated myself to a solitary meal at an eatery. I missed these moments of eating by myself in a fancy place.
29/08/2014 – Volunteer workshop at Africana and the meal that followed. A good way to end my volunteer experience.
30/08/2014 – Thoughts of the coming chapter in my life. Absolutely scared and excited at the same time.
01/09/2014 – First day of the rest of my work life. Several things not to like but the work is alright.
02/09/2014 – Chat with my bestfriend from Primary School changed my perspective about work and its challenges.
12/09/2014 – The fact that my crappy handwriting and signature now appear on a few official documents.
15/09/2014 – Got my first work I.D.
17/09/2014 – Gentlemen still exist.
22/09/2014 – If you don’t teach people how to treat you right, they never will.
24/09/2014 – The keeper of my secrets is having a baby!
01/10/2014 – Birthday of the Keeper of my secrets. I think of her as my baby yet here she is having a baby of her own on the way.
- Completed my first month of gainful employment.
21/11/2014 – Celebrating employment with the boys.
23/11/2014 – Artistic inspiration struck yet I’d been in search of writing inspiration.
03/12/2014 – When you’re down in the doldrums, the last thing you need is abuse from a page you go to to chill.
04/12/2014 – So moody lately.
05/12/2014 – Coincidental meeting with a Facebook page mate.
06/12/2014 – Lunch plans with Baby J fell through and I came off looking like an ill-mannered brat because of my mood swings.
07/12/2014 – The knowledge that there is such a thing as Plate Theory.
11/12/2014 – Mariam Nan has been of great help lately yet we have never met. She’s like my sounding board when I need an impartial voice of reason.
12/12/2014 – Waking up to potentially good news and the promise of it coming true. I couldn’t be more happier for Sad.
14/12/2014 – Plumbing with my daddy although I just held the tools and gave orders like a general while he worked.
- Discovered a reader of Simply Shanah. Funny how people come into your life.
15/12/2014 – Contemplating the purchase of Art supplies for my office.
- Celebration with the boys over Sad’s good news.
 16/12/2014 – I succumbed and bought Art supplies for my office. The creative release marginally improved my mood and the piece looks beautiful.
- Catch up session with my friend Captain Jack Sparrow.
18/12/2014 – My mum saying I look thinner due to work.
19/12/2014 – Being provided the opportunity to get to know someone you have been keeping on the peripheral of your brain.
- Counting days to break off time from work.
20/12/2014 – Last day of work until the 5th of January.
21/12/2014 – Finished a design to one of my Works-In-Progress drawings.
- Taking an afternoon nap after several months of work. I had forgotten how taking and waking up from one actually felt like.
26/12/2014 -  Art grind in the wee hours of the night.
27/12/2014 - Created a tribal necklace in a day! Woot!
-Alhamdulilah for creative inspiration.
29/12/2014 - Jewellery editing is hell on my nails but the outcome is always superb.
- I miss my nose piercing a lot, lately. I should man up and see to it because it's been 3 years without it.
30/12/2014 - Getting my hair done. Wonderful way to prepare for the new year. If you look good, you feel good no matter what!

There was so much to be grateful for in 2014 because it has been very good to me. I hope it marks the beginning of many more wonderful opportunities. And that everything happens as it was meant to. Ameen.

First Loves

Before we grew up to become sophisticated young men and ladies. Before us girls discovered boys, and before we learnt how to deal with life's little stresses and problems. We had fun little hobbies that used to bring us pleasure every time we carried them out, when we were younger.

When I was younger, I used to draw as a hobby and I loved it. I would draw every weekend and possibly after classes sometimes at school. It’s something that used to make me relax and stop thinking of school problems and other issues that a young girl is sometimes forced to deal with.

As I grew up, dealing with high-school and later university, I stopped drawing. The urge would come to me now and then but I would rarely act on it. This doesn't mean I gave up on it or forgot entirely. Sometimes we have to prioritize and in this case; school had to come first because that laid the foundation of my entire life.

A few months back, my brother returned for vacation. He saw all my art books and asked if I still drew. Sadly, I answered him in the negative. His thinking was, I stopped because I had to deal with school and exams but that didn't mean I should give it up. He knew how passionate I was about it. I realized then that we should never completely give up on something that we love no matter how busy we are.

The funny thing is, a friend also reminded me of how good I was and the pleasure I used to gain from it. Inspiration is a funny thing. After having a good pep-talk with my best friend, ideas begun popping up as I felt the excitement build. I remembered how I would get excited about a design, the finished product. The rush to draw came back and I was happy about it. I had missed not being able to do so all those years that I had stopped.

However much we may be young ladies and men, try not to forget about the things you loved as a child. They are the ones that remind you of your childhood and sometimes you need them to remind you of your innocence.

PS: I would have loved nothing more than to use one of my sketches but I don't have them scanned maybe next time.