Where Is Your Boyfriend?!

As I grow older, I find myself weary of answering the 'where is your boyfriend?' question from interested and idly disinterested but nosy parties.

Before; I would take it on nonchalantly and either respond with a joke or honesty to those that hold genuine interest in my life and wish me well but now, I am exhausted.

The question has become an endless reminder of my failure as a female despite my many accomplishments and successes career-wise. There are so many things I should be grateful and proud of at the moment but they are encapsulated by sorrow over my incapacity to be attached to someone for society's validation.

Whenever a person asks me, 'where is your boyfriend?', I am reminded of the many futile attempts made to hold on to people that don't want to be held on to, the boys I had hopes in but never measured up and the number of times I have been led towards dead end roads and each memory cuts like a sharp knife. The memories still sting like they happened yesterday yet enough time has passed for the pain to lessen.

Many may not know this but I have tried. So much so that I have let go of the dreams I held in this regard and made peace with the fact that they shall never come to fruition in this life. I am slowly getting used to the notion that I might be the spinster aunt to my nephews and do not have the time nor the energy to help everyone along. The only energy I have is for the betterment of me as a human, to show kindness to others and be good where possible. Besides, this body is giving up on me faster than my spirit is. I can't be fighting two things at ago. I am enough with or without a man.

The Single Woman's Sassy Survival Guide - Quotes

There are times when I sit in contemplation over the running mood of Simply Shanah; to go with the prevalent theme or abandon it for something entirely lighter? Try as I may; I think I am miserably failing in that feat. I haven't writen something sensible in forever! The gratitude journal I am supposedly keeping remains empty. Not because there is nothing to be grateful for, no. My heart and mood, however lighter they may be, are not up to the habit. Anway, that's neither here nor there.
I am a fan of The Single Woman also known as Mandy Hale. I read her blog whenever I can and follow her on most social media platforms. As much as I love her blog posts, I wholeheartedly tried to stay away from her books. They fall in the 'Self-Help' category which I loathe to read as a book-worm.
However in a night where I was bored out of my mind with questions swirling over and over over the wisdom of my choices, I needed a little soul re-affirmation and conviction. I bit the bullet and downloaded her very first book 'The Single Woman's Sassy Survival Guide: Letting Go and Moving On'.
I read it in a couple of hours and it more or less re-inforced my stance on the decisions I have here-to made where matters of the heart are concerned. I noted a few quotes that resonated with me and thought to share.

Sometimes life offers us a second chance to get it right and sometimes life just offers us a second chance to say goodbye.

Friends and lovers and opportunities will come into our lives and, in some cases, shake us to our very core along the way...however, not all are meant to stay.

You can only let a person chase you for so long before you realize that maybe, just maybe, they never intended to catch you after all.

If you keep handing your heart to someone and they keep handing it back, or worse, breaking it - it's Okay to protect yourself by removing yourself from their life.

If someone keeps spitting game at you but bringing nothing but the same to you, it's Okay to forfeit and walk away.

If its not honoring you, it doesn't deserve a seat at your table.

If it doesn't feel right, it's not right-at least for you.

We exit a situation that feels wrong for reasons we can't quite put our fingers on, only to find out later that we were right all along.

Success is determined as much by the opportunities you are willing to release as the ones you seize.

When someone shows no interest in being with you, is consistently inconsistent, and their actions do not match up with their words - it's time to let go.

You were not put on this earth to stay chained to someone else's desk while your own dream sits on the shelf gathering dust.

The desires of your heart were not put there by accident. Follow them.

You have to want the life that is meant for you bad enough to surrender everything that's not.

Spring clean your life the same way you would your closet. Let go of the old and make room for the new.

New things can only grow where you give them room to bloom.

The reason people become bitter and disenchanted with life is because they cling to anger like a bad habit and never release it.

A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much more attractive than a woman who waits around for a man to validate her.

A woman that is always available can quickly become synonymous with a woman that is desperate.

A woman who is not afraid to be unpredictable is a woman that will always, always keep his attention.

It is far better to live a life of uncertain happiness than of certain misery.

It is in the letting go that we become who we are meant to be.

I loved the book. So much so that I completed it in a few hours. It had a nice flow to it and was exceptionally enlightening on the friendship and work aspects.

We Don't Always Get What We Wish For... 08/11/2014

I wish he'd let me forget him.

I wish I'd had 6months to a year to get over him and the feelings he arouses in me.

I wish he'd never reached out at a point where his name was becoming a distant memory.

I wish I never felt this way about him knowing it cannot be.

I wish I didn't have to deal with the thought of 'us' again when I'd just buried it.

I wish my heart didn't ache with thoughts of him.

I wish I had the strength to cut him out of my life once and for all.

And most of all; I wish he wasn't who is.

It'd make the loss of him much easier.

But we don't always get what we wish for.

 Xx Shanah.

I have this habit of making little notes on my phone 50% of the time because it is always at hand and this is one of them. The downside of writing on the phone is the lack of time to make necessary transfers. I get to it a little later than I should. The notes are either deleted or sequestered away on email but often deleted during general clean up sessions at the end of the year when the feelings/mood that inspired them is nonexistent.

Choices.

I came across this quote or passage when I was reading a particularly interesting post from the Single Woman. I can’t remember right but it must have been about relationships. The Single Woman is all about them. Anyway, I have been hanging onto this quote for the longest time. It has been MONTHS to say the least. So, there it goes...

Every day, you have to make choices that ensure the thing you love continues to thrive. So if you find a way of life that is good for you, do whatever it takes to keep it. Complacency – the middle ground – is the attractive, safe choice. But fall into complacency, and that thing you love might wander off and be gone before you notice. Then what? Better to protect it in the first place. A relationship does not protect itself; it requires active work and humility. A way of life does not protect itself; it requires discipline and attention. – Chris Guillebeau